Jared, because of you so many bonds of love and friendship have formed across the entire blue dot we inhabit.
Last year was one of the worst years of my life. Divorce, near bankruptcy, ten years of work on my career up in smoke, illness, family trauma, and a lot more. When I went to BurCon last year, my friend's dad had a stroke while we were there. She and I were both hot messes that weekend, me crumbling under the weight of my burdens, and her facing the loss of her best friend and father.
Our SPN Family is how we got through it.
Fans, cast -- everyone rallied around us. The people who make our show so wonderful (you and all the other actors and crew and creators) reached out to us, showed us compassion and kindness (Misha even voluntarily got cried on when I sort of dissolved in his autograph line trying to tell him how my GISHWHES team was my rock). Robbie Benedict took the time to comfort my friend about her dad. And when she and I were sitting outside and I was holding her as she cried, within five minutes, people in our SPN family had offered to buy her a plane ticket home.
When I told you and Jensen about that later, both of you immediately connected, focused, and made it clear how much you cared. You told me that you weren't surprised that someone in our fandom would help her like that. Because we're family. Family don't end with blood.
We are your family too. You've been there for us. Sometimes onscreen as Sam, fighting your demons literally so we actually get to see them vanquished. Sometimes in person, where we can't see any battles raging. Sometimes through the internet, by helping us remember to Always Keep Fighting.
It means so much to me that in my book that's coming out soon, the acknowledgements are about you and Jensen. And meant for anyone who's fighting a battle that's unseen to others.
Here's what I said in those acknowledgements:
In the dedication for the first book in Ayala’s series, I wrote, “To Kristin and Jes, who always keep fighting.” This was for two of my dear friends who, like me, had a very-very-very hard year in 2014 and early 2015. Two months after STORM IN A TEACUP came out, the two stars of my favorite television show Supernatural, launched a t-shirt campaign called Always Keep Fighting to benefit those who suffer and survive every day with invisible illnesses like depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and more.
This book is very much a product of an ongoing fight, as is Ayala’s life.
As someone who lives with invisible illness, it was important to me to include this note. That little synchronicity between my last book’s dedication and Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles’ campaign fits very well with one of the major themes in Ayala’s story as well as the show Supernatural. When I first wrote STORM IN A TEACUP, I had never seen a single episode of Supernatural. (Yes, yes, I know. I lived under a rock from 2005-2012.) Though I am unaffiliated with the show, I believe deeply in the message shared by Jared and Jensen to keep fighting.
It’s hard. Life likes to kick us in the ass, and unlike Ayala, we can’t physically kill our demons. We have to live with them, keep them at bay, and sometimes fight them off without swords.
Sometimes it can feel like we have our own personal hells-hole that follows us around, spewing out demons faster than we can kill them.
This book is for you. Bravery isn’t about not being scared — it’s about keeping on when you are. It’s about looking the monsters in the eye sometimes, crying sometimes, and yes, sometimes making butt jokes and swearing until you laugh.
I urge you, if you’re reading this and your personal fight feels like it’s too much to bear, to reach out to someone. There are people who want nothing more than to talk to you when you are hurting and to fight beside you.
You can find international suicide hotlines at
http://www.suicide.org, including specific lines for LGBTQIA youth, military veterans, and more. Reach out. There are people ready to reach back.
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Thank you for reaching out to us and giving us a chance to reach back.
We're here for you, Jared. We love you. We will fight beside you. You have an army at your back.
) AB
