910promo002
Think in terms of bridges burned
Think of seasons that must end
See the rivers rise and fall
They will rise and fall again
Everything must have an end
Like an ocean to a shore
Like a river to a stream
Like a river to a stream
It's the famous final scene
And how you tried to make it work
Did you really think it could
How you tried to make it last
Did you really think it would
Like a guest who stayed too long
Now it's finally time to leave
Yes, it's finally time to leave
Take it calmly and serene
It's the famous final scene

Once again Bob Seger and Dean Winchester have united to tear my heart out. What a perfect song choice to start off this episode. It not only captures the raw emotion of what Dean is feeling in that moment, but it also provides a bit of foreshadowing into the rest of the episode. Particularly the part about feeling like it’s time to leave. Cue my heart breaking into a million pieces.

There were so many things to love about this episode, even if it spent the whole time systematically tearing my heart out. This is clearly a very dark time for Dean. He feels responsible for Kevin’s death. Meanwhile he is struggling with what his decisions have meant for Sam’s life. Because of all of this I was so happy to have Cass back in true form. Dean really needed someone to lean on while he tried desperately to get Sam back alive. Dean and Cass really fell into a rhythm in this episode, don’t you think? Much of their friendship revolves around comedic moments in which Dean is poking fun at a totally oblivious Cass. I love that stuff. But it’s really nice to see these episodes where their relationship is taken to a deeper level. And it’s great to see Cass in more of a protector role. Almost like he was the Dean to Dean’s Sam. (Say that five times fast.) I especially loved the ease of this conversation.

SPN 1034

Dean: “How are you doing?”
Cass: “You want to talk about me...now?”
Dean: “I want to talk about anything that isn’t a demon sticking needles into my brother’s brain. Yeah, humor me man. How are you doing?”
Cass: “Good.”
Dean:“Good. Good. That’s...So what do you just change the batteries out, power back up; it’s that easy?”
Cass: “It wasn’t easy but I didn’t have a choice.”
Dean: “Yeah. Well that’s usually how it goes. Cass, I’m sorry.”
Cass: “About what?”
Dean: “Kicking you out of the bunker. Not telling you about Sam.”
Cass: “You thought his life was at stake.”
Dean: “Yeah, I got played.”
Cass: “I thought I was saving heaven, I got played too.”
Dean: “So you saying we’re both a couple of dumbasses?”
Cass: “I prefer the word ‘trusting’. Less ‘dumb’, less ‘ass’.”

Another thing to love about this episode was the presence of Crowley. I really can’t get enough of him. Especially when his wheeling and dealing actually helps our boys out. Of course being Crowley he can’t just be expected to do a favor for anyone. There’s always a deal to be made and this time it was for his freedom. Can you blame him? He’s been cooped up inside the Men of Letters compound for months.

910promo009

Cass was understandably hesitant about the arrangement to have Crowley possess Sam, but Crowley doesn’t welch on his deals. He could have smoked out of his body as soon as they took off the handcuffs but he didn’t. I knew if Crowley agreed to get into Sam’s head and let him know about Gadriel then he would do just that. Was it just me or did he seem to actually care about helping Sam? I find myself wondering from time to time if he hasn’t warmed up to the Winchesters over the years.

Truth be told, I’m happy to have Crowley free again. Abaddon is still a very real threat to Sam and Dean. And she’s not one for making deals. Honestly, Sam and Dean need Crowley as an ally against her. The enemy of my enemy is my friend afterall. Crowley has proven he still holds power over the demons. They may not be 100% on his side but they’re definitely still scared of him. Nobody wants to cross the King of Hell. So how long until we see “Vote Crowley” shirts popping up all over the internet?

So I guess it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room. I put it off as long as I could. Sam is finally safe and mostly healed. Thank goodness for that! But his relationship with Dean is back on the rocks. We knew this was going to be an issue. I’ve been preparing myself for this conversation for months now but it was still difficult to watch. There was no yelling, just disappointment and hurt feelings which made it worse. Sam was understandably upset with Dean. He made a choice that wasn’t his to make. And it had really bad consequences. But Dean didn’t disagree, his only argument was that it’s not in him to let Sam die. It’s not who he is. And how can you really argue with that? It’s been a staple of this series since episode one. Dean will take any necessary measure to protect Sam, even if he knows it’s not right. That’s just the way it is.

But the part of this conversation that upset me the most came at the end.

SPN 1603

Dean: “No, that is not on you. Kevin’s blood is on my hands and that ain’t ever getting clean. I’ll burn for that. I will. But I’ll find Gadriel and I will end that son of a bitch. But I’ll do it alone.”
Sam: “What’s that supposed to mean.”
Dean: ‘Come on man, can’t you see I’m poison, Sam. People get close to me, they get killed or worse. You know I tell myself that I help more people than I hurt and I tell myself that I’m doing it for the right reasons and I believe that. But I can’t, I won’t drag anybody through the muck with me. Not anymore.”
Sam: “Go. I’m not gonna stop you. But don’t go thinking that’s the problem because it’s not.”
Dean: “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sam: “Just go.”

Dean has suffered with guilt for as long as I can remember. A lot of times that guilt is misplaced but in this case, Kevin’s blood really is on Dean’s hands. The truth is Dean could have done something to protect Kevin. He could have told him what was going on with Sam, he could have had him leave the bunker that day, but he didn’t. Dean was already feeling the weight of that guilt before Crowley really spelled it out for him.

Castiel: “Kevin is dead.”
Crowley: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Castiel: “Don’t pretend you care. You tried to kill him.”
Crowley: “I told him this was going to happen. I was the only person who tried to warn him. I told him to run.”
Dean: “From what?”
Crowley: “You. How many times am I going to have to say this? People in your general vicinity don’t have much in the way of a lifespan.”

What makes me so sad is that Sam is usually the one to help Dean put things into perspective. He is there to help Dean work through his guilt. But in this case he can’t do that. He’s feeling too hurt and betrayed to be a shoulder for Dean to lean on. And it’s too bad because Sam has a lot of experience feeling like he endangers everyone around him. Just take a look at the list of dead girlfriends he feels responsible for.

Since watching the episode Sam’s last line has been bouncing around in my head. “Go. I’m not gonna stop you. But don’t go thinking that’s the problem because it’s not.” I haven’t been able to decide what Sam meant by that. Was it meant to console Dean or was it a dig? For me it can be read both ways. What did you think Sam meant by it?

So there you have it. Sam and Dean aren’t talking at this point but all hope isn’t lost for me. With time I still feel like they can make things right. They have to. As soon as possible. Next week looks like it’s going to be a good one. Dean and Crowley are on the hunt for Abaddon. But where will Sam be? He didn’t show up in the preview at all. I wonder if he’ll be having another healing session with Castiel? Maybe Castiel will talk to Sam and try to help smooth things over. Only time will tell!

There were so many quotes and moments worth mentioning in this episode.

The Road So Far - Is this the first time we’ve had one of these with no music? What’s up with that?

SPN 0050

I know I already talked about that whole opening scene, but man it makes my heart hurt.

“Why be an angel when you can be a god.” Man, that’s a sad commentary on society.  

Cass is back in a trenchcoat! Even if it’s not the right one, I’m happy.

Cass: “You were stupid for the right reasons.”
Dean: “Yeah, that matters?”
Cass: “It does. Sometimes that’s all that matters.”

Crowley: “The poor giant baby’s in trouble again, isn’t he?”

Cass: “I have a vehicle. It stopped a few miles from here inexplicably.”
I love that Dean just brought gas with him knowing that was the issue. I also loved that it turned out to be a pimp car.  

Cass: “When you betray us, I’ll be the one to carve out your heart.”
Crowley: “Oh Cass, you flirt.”

Crowley: “The three amigos ride again.”
Cass: “He’s not my amigo.”

Abner: “They key to happiness is getting the one thing you want most and never letting it go.”
Gadriel: “And what if there’s a price?”
Abner: “There’s always a price but it’s worth paying.”
This was an interesting concept. It seemed to reflect what Dean is going through with Sam.  

Gadriel: “I allowed you to live.”
Dean: “Mistake.”

Gadriel: “If it makes you feel better, I have Sam locked away in a dream. You two are working a case right now. something to do with ghouls and cheerleaders.”

Cass: “You ruined the universe you damn son of a bitch!”
I was worried Cass would lose control for a second there. Anyone else?

SPN 1107

Dean: “When you find him, say ‘Poughkeepsie’ it’s our go word. It means drop everything and run.”
I love knowing all these little things about Sam and Dean.

Dean: “A human and an angel walk into my brother. It sounds like a bad joke.”

Sam: “It just doesn't make any sense. Why is this ghoul only chomping on dead cheerleaders.”
This line made me laugh out loud during a very tense moment. Gotta love that comic relief.

Sam: “Did I kill Kevin?”
Crowley: “No, you didn’t. He did.”
This is an example of where I thought Crowley was being a little nicer than he even needed to be. There was something in his tone that was almost caring. Maybe I’m delusional.

Sam: “I said get...the hell..out!” Jared’s delivery of this line actually gave me chills.

Dean: “This don’t make us square I see you again…”
Crowley: “Yes, I know. I’m dead. I love you too.”

Was it just me or did Crowley sits down in that torture chair just so he can spin around when Abaddon walked in? Talk about theatrical.

Crowley: “See that’s you problem, love. You think this is a fight.”
Abaddon: “It’s not?”
Crowley: “It’s a campaign.”