My choices for part one were revealed, so without further delay, here are the Supernatural Season Twelve Editor's Choice Awards, Part Two! Seventeen more categories of Awards that in the end have little relevance in the grand scheme of things, but they still make a diversion-y and fun read as we hit the real doldrums of Hellatus. Enjoy!
Best Supernatural Season 12 “Rock Star Alias”
Behold, it’s the Partridge Family! I grew up watching Partridge Family reruns after school so yes, I was pretty tickled by agents Shirley Partridge, Bonaduce, and Cassidy. Fun fact, David Cassidy, who played Keith Partridge, is the father of actress Katie Cassidy, aka our season three Ruby, who is now with “Arrow.”
Honorable Mention - The Same Episode
I love that Castiel gets pop culture references now but really doesn’t understand them. Like how R&B pop stars do not count as classic rock aliases. Or how female R&B legends like Beyonce definitely don't offer a believable alias for a plain looking guy in a trenchcoat. But Crowley decided to play along.
"I guess that makes me Agent Jay Z."
Best Visual Effect
“Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox”
Dean being thrown through the warded door by Billie. I thought visually it was freaking wicked, even if was a result of an overused plot driver, relying too much on Billie’s intervention to get what they wanted. No wonder she was angry at them all the time.
Best Use of Misplaced Optimism that Fell Apart an Episode Later
Castiel: No human form can step through that gate and survive. Your souls will ascend to Heaven, and every cell of your beings will return to the universe. I am sorry, Kelly. It's the son of Lucifer... this is a human/archangel hybrid. That power... it's beyond comprehension. Your child could bring the universe to its knees.
Kelly: Or lift it to its feet. This baby, nothing is born evil.
Nature vs. nuture, good vs. evil, it was all really fascinating…until the remaining episodes forgot about all that. I loved that this episode raised some hope while also raising suspicion. Were Kelly and Castiel duped? Was that power that was given to them by this child a miracle or a diabolical act? Kelly refused to give up faith and she restored that lost faith in Castiel as well. It was quite refreshing to see Castiel with hope again. I've got to admit, I found the whole idea of something good coming into this world interesting. For years it's really been too much crap.
Then the rest of the season aired and it was time to throw all that hope of a savior out the window. Fine, I’ll forgive “Who We Are” since it was tying up so many other loose ends as it was, but the rest, shame of you all for not running with what you were given from “The Future.” I’m left only with the hope that season thirteen will take care of all that.
Most Ludicrous Plot Straight Out of Fan Fiction
Oh, so many! Sam captured and tortured by a pretty lady who’s part of an evil organization that’s focused on total domination, Mary Winchester coming back from the dead, Mary being brainwashed to kill other hunters and her own sons, Lucifer gets someone pregnant creating a Nephilim, Crowley doesn’t let Lucifer go back to the cage and decides to keep him prisoner for payback instead (only a fan could come up with that totally ludicrous plot) and…oh, everything this season just didn’t make sense. The winner though was one that just wasn’t necessary by any means.
"Ladies Drink Free"
Why did they have to bring back Claire Novak? Instead of showing any growth or learning from her experiences, her character continued to be the same cocky, annoying brat. Better yet, why not turn her into a werewolf, and then watch her be rescued by an “unproven” cure conveniently provided by the British Men of Letters? Oh wait, it’s a parallel! She’s turned and cured as a werewolf just like her “sister” Alex was turned and cured as a vampire. Can’t there be better parallels…or better characters to bring back? There's a lot to choose from.
"The British Invasion"
Every single bit of it, but then again I've screamed about that until I'm blue in the face ever since it aired. I figured it was time I focused on something else with this award. But...think about it, why would Mick be all helpful and good in "Ladies Drink Free" and then the very next episode start flipping out about "the code" that was ingrained in him since a young age via a Harry Potter ripoff school? I mean, Draco Malfoy at his worst wasn't killing classmates because Umbridge told him to. Compare notes writers!
Best Iconic Moment/Scene That Will Be Talked About For Years
"Who We Are"
This episode gave us so much that I could say pretty much all of it. It was the crown jewel in this dearth of stellar episodes in this mediocre season. Still there’s one visual that will stick with me for years. Not only is it emotionally powerful, but it reminds us just how impressive Sam's wing span is!
Best Inside Joke
“Stuck in the Middle (With You)”
Okay, this is a little obscure, but I like it. When the title came up for Crowley’s story, it said, “Mr. Crowley.” I’m sure a few of you picked up that is the title to an Ozzy Osborne song, especially since the show has never called him “Mr. Crowley.” But where the inside joke comes in is that when Mark Sheppard is introduced at “Supernatural” Creation conventions, Louden Swain (the house band) always breaks into “Mr. Crowley.” So voila, your title becomes a fun little inside joke.
Sure, I could have also gone with “Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell” with the Lucille bat, but that was already covered in our Fan Vote awards.
Best Welcome to the Old Hunters Club
Remember back in season three when Dean had to win favor with a crusty old Rufus Turner? All he needed was one expensive bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue, which is no cheap bottle of whiskey.
Dean Winchester wouldn’t dare fall for that trick then, would he? Well, all it took was a fine bottle of 33 year old Glennlach Scotch Whiskey (not a real brand but something pristine nonetheless) for him to take kindly to Mr. Ketch. It was a brilliant move, until Mr. Ketch eventually turned into a real douche.
Best Appearance By A Supposedly Important Figure that Didn’t Go Anywhere
Billie the Reaper
Then there's the Worst...
Note. Next time you introduce interesting characters show, KEEP THEM INTERESTING. By the time Billie met her demise, we were only sad that she was never utilized to her full potential. She went from freaking awesome to annoying to useless and that meant she was expendible. Sure, there’s that cosmic consequences thing, but maybe that’s what the finale was all about. Not sure, I haven’t figured it out yet.
As for Joshua and Toni Bevell, those guys weren’t around enough to be awesome or anything. Toni especially fizzled into nothing after being so touted at the beginning of the seaosn. At least she got more than the five seconds of screen time Joshua got. Their quick deaths were just met with a “Meh.”
Best Subtle Choice in Directing that Had Me Laughing When it Was Over
Castiel stood there expressionless as everyone ran for cover from the pending flamethrower explosion. The truck explodes in a massive fireball and Castiel never flinches! That’s some awesome acting by Misha Collins. I would have been quivering like a bowl of jello.
Best One Tortured Look Tells the Entire Heart Crushing Story
This year Jared gets to blow us away in this category. I was quite moved when Sam picked up The Colt, held it in his hand, and stared at it emotionally for multiple seconds, letting all those memories swirl inside. It was the entire history of “Supernatural” all told in one small moment through Sam’s weary eyes. It was very moving and stunning given the action/adventure that was going on around it. I love being thrown curve balls like that.
Best Shoutout to a Domestic Goddess
“All Along the Watchtower”
I thought that Kelly Kline nesting and Castiel playing nervous father was a little over the top, but the frustrations of putting together a crib from an unnamed Swedish furniture store (you know it’s IKEA!) is something we all can relate. She got to live our dream though and vent on the phone to a guy named Swen. You go girl. Fight that fight for all of us that spent hours putting together weird named furniture with vague instructions and no one to bitch to.
Best Hope for an Actual "Supernatural" Sitcom
Castiel and Crowley team up.
Angel and Demon, working together for a common good. Sounds like a delicious sitcom, doesn’t it?
Sam: So what's the word? Cas have anything?
Dean: Yeah, uh... Well, good news, there's nothing on angel radio and Heaven's still on lock down. So rogue angel is out.
Sam: Bad news?
Dean: Cas is chumming it up with Crowley. They're hunting Lucifer together. That's right. One's an angel, one's a demon and apparently they solve crimes.
Hmm, sounds like a great idea for a "Supernatural" spinoff.
Anything that puts Sam and Dean in priest outfits (not done since season one?) and then non-threatening counselors in full boring sweater garb deserves some sort of prize. I don’t know who they were pretending to be but I don’t care. I’m glad they got away from being G-Men once in a while.
(We really should have a "Caption This" for this)
Best Shoutout to Androgynous Plastic Figurine
I just don’t have words to describe! Sam calls Rowena to try and figure out why Dean is losing his memory…
Rowena: We could do a memory spell. But did his hair fall out? His body too?
Rowena: From the neck down, is he smooth like a Ken doll?
Sam (really grossed out): I don't know. Uh, and I'm not checking either.
Most Satisfying Act of Revenge
Ooh, that’s a lesson never to burn Rowena. After all, she’s lived for hundreds of years and is very patient. All she needed was the right opportunity to avenge Oskar and dammit, Sam and Dean rolled out the whole red carpet for her. Make it look like she was helping her grandson. Nope, she just wanted him dead so she could throw that all in Crowley’s face. So evil, yet it was so wickedly awesome too.
Crowley: So that was all drivel you were spewing about Gavin doing the right thing?
Rowena: It was the right thing. Maybe for Gavin, certainly for me. It allowed me to watch you suffer the loss of a child.
Rowena: I'm your mother, dear. Who better to crush your shriveled heart?
Most Awkward Moment
“Keep Calm and Carry On”
This puts the “Awk” in “Awkward…” Dean and Mary, both flashing that wicked smirk at the same time when looking at the back seat of the Impala. Then it dawns on Dean what’s happening. Yes Dean, you were probably conceived in your Baby. That’s something he’ll never be able to unsee.
Cheesiest Inanimate Object in all of Supernatural
There have been some low budget props in “Supernatural,” but this one is all the all time grand champion. A golden egg with enochian symbols on it that exorcises demons? Um, wasn't there already a way to do that? Honestly, Mr. Ketch won me over in the toys department with the flamethrower. But hey, it did raise the question, do we want to see Sam take out the evil demon with some awesome latinating, or do we want to see his hair flowing harshly in the wind as he performs…pretty much the same thing just with something way more fugly. Only time will tell I guess.
That’s a wrap on season twelve. Come back next year for our set of Awards for season thirteen! It's the circle of SPN Life!