Relationships are seldom easy. Oh, some friendships can be – but love? Keeping things both fresh and committed can be hard, because the people (shows) we love are uniquely able to hurt us as well as delight us. Here's some advice on making your relationship with your beloved partner (favorite TV show) work!


Don't try to force your partner (show) to change! This is the most basic of basic rules. That whole “Hello, I love you, you're perfect, now change!” thing is a surefire recipe for killing a relationship. If you can't accept your partner (show) for who and what s/he/it actually is, a break-up is inevitable – and the longer you wait and more bitter you get about their failure to conform to your desires and expectations, the more acrimonious the parting will be. Love the one you're with! If you can't love s/he/it any more for some reason, gently say goodbye. Don't make the mistake of falling in love with your vision of who and what your partner (show) is, only to get angry when you realize they aren't – and never will be – what you only imagined. If that happens, it's not their fault; it's your mistake. Look again, and decide whether you can accept and love what's really there. If so, great! If not – move on. Don't hurt yourself and others. If you've got genuine advice on how to make things better, offer it – but remember that's a two-way street!

1-Song AngryCar

Treat your partner (show) as they wish to be treated; at a minimum, treat them as you would wish to be treated! Do you respond well to petulant demands? Do you like being pestered or even bullied? Do you enjoy being insulted? Do you like being called names or treated with disrespect? No? Then don't treat your partner (show) that way! What's more, don't treat your partner's family and friends (show writers, actors, and fans) that way, either. Always follow the golden rule. We'll all be happier for it, including you!

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Don't jump to conclusions or make premature judgments on incomplete information! Things often are not what they seem, especially when rumors swirl about events we haven't seen. When we jump to conclusions, we're often wrong. If we act on those wrong perceptions, we can say and do hurtful things, creating a conflict where there was no actual reason for one. Don't listen to rumors (spoilers); they're almost always more likely to mislead you into anxiety or incorrect expectations than they are to sweeten the anticipation of something good. Wait until you know the full truth of a situation (see the episodes) before you judge. Hey: how many times have you been accused of something you didn't do or didn't say, and been judged unfairly for it because someone didn't bother to wait and get all the facts? Don't be guilty of doing that to your partner (show)!

1-John MarySongArgue

Let your partner (show) keep some secrets! Mystery is tantalizing; it helps keep a relationship interesting, because when your partner (show) can still surprise you, s/he/it keeps you from becoming bored or taking things for granted. Never assume that all secrets are bad! Haven't you ever gotten a surprise present that totally made your day? Well, maybe it will come on your next birthday – or two days after, when you least expect it!

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Don't go to bed angry! Don't nurse a grudge or keep retelling a negative story to yourself, feeding anger and resentment. Clear the air before you end the day. Tell your partner (show) you love them despite whatever disagreement you may be having; practice acceptance and forgiveness rather than demand and accusation. Most problems seem smaller and more easy to handle after you get rest; going to bed angry does nothing but rob you of good rest and build resentment that makes problems even harder to solve. Don't do that to yourself and your partner (show)!

1-John Mary SongPregnant

Be willing to grow! We all change over time with our experiences. If we're lucky, we develop wisdom along the way and learn to accept change, both in ourselves and others. You can't expect your partner (show) to remain exactly the way s/he/it was when you first met; try to grow along with them, understanding what they're going through and what things mean to them, as well as to you. Sometimes, we grow apart, developing in different ways that simply aren't compatible despite our love. That can be sad, but if it happens, it also opens us up to new relationships, if we're willing to accept the change and move on.

So, those are my basic bits of successful partner (show) relationship advice. Do you have additional ones to contribute? Weigh in!

1-John Mary SongKiss

And stay in love!

Comments  

Grace232
# Grace232 2013-08-02 02:32
You are a genius!!! Truly fabulous!
Far Away Eyes
# Far Away Eyes 2013-08-02 07:16
Thank you for this, Mary. Not only is it sound advice for staying in love with our fave shows, it is also great life advice for our real relationships! Thanks for sharing!
Prix68
# Prix68 2013-08-02 07:22
Well aren't you the clever one! All good advice. There should be a repeat of this article periodically throughout the season. It definitely put a smile on my face.
mary9930
# mary9930 2013-08-02 07:32
I'm new to WFB so sorry if I missed previous articles or comments. I certainly agree with your article but I'm surprised that people are disappointed with the show after perhaps my favorite season finale.

There is a great new story line ahead with angels walking around and no heart wrenching ending: no one went to hell or purgatory, no one is in the hospital fighting for their life, and Cas is on their side. Maybe I'm a Pollyanna but it's all unicorns & rainbows for me :-)
Bevie
# Bevie 2013-08-02 11:56
Thanks Mary, that advice was perfect!

My love affair with my show has lasted 8 years and I really feel it will continue to do so for as long as it is aired.

Sure there are moments when I feel "hmmmm, what?" but never enough to disillusion me with this love affair I'm in. I'm happily married to this show and will continue to be even when it is over. There are the dvd's after all, thank God (Chuck?). :P
tyro
# tyro 2013-08-02 12:12
Great, Bardicvoice, thank you! Your list of advice is so good and I really can't think of any more items to complete it. So if one desires to keep love with him/her/it forever your advice is all one needs. But you know there are quite a number of people who (for reasons unknown) prefer suffering to happiness. Sounds strange but there it is, some people/fans seem just happy to be unhappy. And though they will always find a way to sadness and disappointment, they also may need some good recommendations such as, for example,
Be demanding! Even if your partner/show looks perfect, keep in mind, that he/she/it could be better if they really tried. Find something not absolutely good, however tiny, to be angry at and stick to it. Don't let anybody forget even a small blunder, keep on reminding about it.
If there may be two possible explanations to your partner/show misstep/gap/fau lt always choose the one less excusable. Try to look from the dark side, you will find it to be sure.
The easiest way to unhappiness and discord if you look for one is suspicion. Always suspect some malicious intent in what you're told/shown (sometimes for it you will have to resort to generalizations and stretch a point, but who cares?) and you will have a reason for accusations and righteous anger for years to come.
Never forgive! A slip of the tongue during a talk with your partner/intervi ew at a con can be an endless source for (mis)interpreta tions and reproaches.
And so on and so on. This list can be extended ...
Amyh
# Amyh 2013-08-05 08:31
Its good advice but one can't help see that the advice in this article really really needs to be taken by a certain couple of Winchesters.
love2boys
# love2boys 2013-08-05 13:41
I loved your advice. I have been trying to live by it forever, just because it makes so much sense. *making an emphatic noise in my head* Thank you!
Bardicvoice
# Bardicvoice 2013-08-06 12:37
Thanks, folks; glad you enjoyed this little diversion! And Amyh, the applicability of every one of these points to a certain pair of brothers made me chuckle even as I was writing this. Tyro, I chuckled at your point too - but I just can't bring myself to advocate the negative, even to make people who want to be unhappy, happy in the way they need to be. Oops!
elle
# elle 2013-08-08 07:31
This was excellent! Funny, apropos and such great advice through and through. Fortunately, Supernatural and I have had a long and loving relationship for many, many years. It's one of few shows that I've never even considered leaving. Not once, now that I think about it. Too much in love with those Winchesters and their story. I guess the absence of the summer (torturous as it is) does make the heart grow fonder!

Thanks for this piece!
Fool For Dean
# Fool For Dean 2013-08-10 21:32
Love it!!! These are the words of true wisdom
Laura S
# Laura S 2013-10-11 19:39
I thought I would try a little experiment and look back through your reviews. And I found this:

"I didn't care for this episode at all. This poorly conceived monster-of-the- week outing did nothing to advance the brothers' story, and the whole witch story didn't work for me for many reasons."

So: here you are on this article wagging the finger (albeit humorously) at people who are voicing criticisms of the show, when you yourself voice criticisms if you don't like what you're getting.

Criticising the writers when they are doing a piss-poor job is within our rights (see the quote from you, above). As consumers of this product, we have the right to criticize it. If we don't, then we get fed the same "poorly conceived" rubbish, because let's face it, these writers don't really care. They can say they do, but they've admitted to not even watching past seasons of the show and they trample all over canon every week.

So what is the real problem? Is it that you simply don't like the minutiae of what people are asking for in the current criticism, ie, more for Dean? Or more Dean-Cas interaction? Because I notice that you don't seem to be quite so judgemental of fan criticism when the people you are friendly with on Twitter are hollering for Dean to be enslaved to Sam and for Cas to be written out of the show.