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The Winchester Family Biz Gazette Presents the Edlund’s Season Seven Plans
There is still more to Ben Edlund, ahem, the Edlund, than meets the eye. As some of you might recall, the Winchester Family Business Gazette revealed this mastermind’s secret season plans last year. In wake of Comic Con, the WFB Gazette’s unyieldingly tireless reporter Jaspala Wesson got hold of the Edlund once more and wormed the upcoming season’s episode titles and plots out of him… Obviously, Mr Edlund still is a fan of the archetypal horror genre, and his ideas salute classics of old and of today…
Jaspala Wesson would like to dedicate this article to her MIA colleague Randal whose voice on this site is continuously sadly missed. 

Enjoy the episode guide for season seven as we learned it:
1 - Whatever Happened to the Baby’s Brain? 

Sam and Dean investigate a weird case of cannibalistic rites. An ancient cult, creepy priests and a cook who takes his inspirations from Indy Jones’ adventures in the temple of doom. Only, it’s not monkey brain on ice… The Winchesters have to save every baby they can. And – get supplies…

2 - Confessions of an Angelic Aquarium Beater 

Castiel and his divine job don’t always agree. By accident, he’s thrown back into a parallel universe where Dean is Jensen Ackles, living in a luxurious trailer with a huge aquarium. It all begins with Castiel breaking the thing to pieces and ends with a rueful angel looking for superglue…

3 - The Stepford Hives 

A picturesque little town doesn’t only spawn weirdo women, but also variations of bees. Dean finds out to late that you shouldn’t disturb them after midnight. The elder Winchester will soon learn how it feels like to slowly turn into a honey-seeking insect. You’re thinking The Fly? Oh, it’s much worse… 

4 - Spouse of Wax 

A murder in a sex toy shop calls for a couple of hunters who are not afraid of - well - anything!

5 - Eight Legged Geeks 

Never mess with the DNA of spiders. The results can be devastating. Some scientists obviously never watched ‘Tarantula’… The five spiders of their lab suddenly become geeks du jour and play the Big Bang Theory for Arachnoids. But - they’re not endearing, at all… 

6  - The Black Sheep 

The Winchesters travel to the English countryside to investigate in the case of knighted surgeon Sir Joel suffering from brain tumour who experiments on the living to save himself. Unfortunately, things go terribly wrong and all of a sudden the surgeon’s sheep behave like creatures with a damaged brain. 

7 - The Water of Dr Jekyll 

A sweet, yet very daft village quack sells anti-ageing potions. Unfortunately, the water he uses for his little cocktails is contaminated… It transforms people into movie monsters of old. If you think this is a completely deranged episode… well, you’re right!

8  - The Cape Man

Is there really such a thing as medieval creeps? When Sam and Dean encounter guys dressed up like knights, their skills as hunters are challenged in a most unexpected way. And they’re going to need that sword…

9 - The Zombie Alligator 

Necromancers plan to resurrect dead politicians to gain power of the United States. Before they manage Roosevelt & Co., they happen to wake the alligator who ate the mayor’s daughter and was shot to death. Clearly, death only whetted its appetite… and a couple of fearless hunters move in.

10 - The Woman’s A Snack 

The show once featured a giant teddy bear with issues. In this episode all Toys R Us stuffed animals come to life and feed on the unsuspecting mommies bying toys for their children. But Sam and Dean don’t fear tubby little sweeties with teeth, in fact they use them as allies…

11 - Angel Tart  

Only a voodoo ceremony will help to get Castiel down from his divine throne. The Winchesters travel to New Orleans to consult a priestess and ask for help. Witness Castiel go from powerful to sweet, and, yes, he will eat raw eggs before this tart is prepared…


# Elisa 2011-08-15 03:14
Oh my God, this is.. I mean, wow! Just wow! I'm dying to watch these episodes now! :P
Thanks for sharing this with us!
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:21
Thanks, Elisa - let's hope, the Edlund will not get stopped by 'the suits'... :lol:
Cheers, Jas
# sn_chills 2011-08-15 07:44
Wow I'd better set my DVR right now so I don't miss these soon to be classic episodes. Hehehe
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:22
Better make sure to have enough blank discs to record them on... ;-) ,
Thanks sn_chills! Best, Jas
# Sylvie 2011-08-15 09:01
Hellatus is making some people go gaga with glee! I will ABSOLUTELY watch those episodes if and when they air. Only 39 days to go.
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:23
This certainly was the result of a brain gone a tad gaga...
Thanks, Sylvie. Yes! Less then 40 days!
Cheers, Jas
# boredoftherings 2011-08-15 14:48
All terrible ideas, lets leave the writing and the jokes to the professionals.
# Brynhild 2011-08-15 18:57
Are you a troll, boredoftherings ?
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:25
I guess we'll never know, Brynhild. ;-)
# boredoftherings 2011-08-19 12:26
no I'm not, haven't been here for a few days been busy at work. I was simply just saying that none of the ideas were appealing and that I'm glad we wont see any of them on screen. I know the SPN writers sometimes have their own terrible ideas but for the most part they get it write except for maybe seasons 5 and definitely 6.
# Brynhild 2011-08-19 19:59
Ah, the lost old art of irony and satyre... Really you can't recognize a joke when you see one? I can't believe it...
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:24
Ah, sweetheart, you are a smart one, aren't you, boredoftherings ?
# boredoftherings 2011-08-19 12:30
given the stupid spelling mistakes in my reply above? no I wouldn't say so. I was stating an honest opinion where no one was bashed. I don't see the problem or the need for you to be rude.
# Jasminka 2011-08-19 12:54
Please take a look at the date of the comments. You might see then that I answered to your comment above. Not to your reply, dear.
All this was a spoof, and not remotely serious suggestions...
Tim the Enchanter
# Tim the Enchanter 2011-08-19 16:10
The killer bread one is serious though, right? That can’t be a spoof because I’m kinda forming a vigilante group as we speak to kill off these killer carbs.

I’ve it all sorted. We’re going to use eggs instead of silver bullets in our rifles, put soya milk into our super squirters (You know, I can’t understand why the boys don’t use these. You get a much more direct hit. Splashing from a bottle is very hit and miss, and you waste a lot of it. Holy water doesn’t grow on trees, you know.) We’re also going to hit the carbs about their dirty carbohydrate heads with a piece of halibut and maybe some figs. Then we’re going to finish off by eating strawberries and mango off the naked torso of John Winchester.

We’re going to call ourselves the Broccoli Babes (because green is a really good colour on me). Or maybe the Broccolettes (haven’t decided yet).

So anyone who wants in, meet at my place. Just go to New York and start swimming east. I’ll be the one looking like me. And don’t come empty handed. Remember, there are no carbs in chocolate.
Tim the Enchanter
# Tim the Enchanter 2011-08-15 16:17
Steven Spielberg, how are ya! This right here is damn good television.

I’m not sure if Spouse of Wax and Shag me in Hell could be shown at 9pm though cos they sound like they could be fecking filthy! (Fingers crossed....)

The Black Sheep looks like it’s going to be a right scary one. Ooooh, them sheeps with their flock mentality can be right little feckers so they can.

Plus I’m really looking forward to Murder by the Evil Bread. It’s about time the danger of carbs was taken seriously.

Thanks Jaspala Wesson, looks like Season 7 is going to be awesome!

(Btw, love the picture of smiling, happy Dean in Once Smitten.)
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:27
Thought you would like the smiling Dean, EnchantingTim ;-)
thanks, Celt - I have a feeling the writers have problems with carbs... :lol: , Jas
# rehabber 2011-08-15 16:54
As long as the writers have Cas in most of the eps, I will be happy with what ever happens. lol
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:27
Rest assured, he will be there :lol: !
Cheers, Jas
# Brynhild 2011-08-15 18:54
Oh, Jas, how I'd love to see some of these realized!
# Jasminka 2011-08-16 01:28
So would I, Brynhild... But I'm sure, we'll get the odd deranged episode...
Thank you, Jas
# Linda-bookdal 2011-08-16 04:32
Okay, warning on this one, cause I totally lost some soda laughing so hard. I want to see the evil bread one produced. You know, carbs are not a girl's best friend.
# Jasminka 2011-08-17 06:12
That's one of my favourite, too, Linda. Thank you. I'm wicked, you know, because I laughed at the thought of you losing some soda... :lol: , Jas
# Julie 2011-08-16 05:20
Hi Jas
You know, I think your brain might be almost as strange as Ben Edlunds :o
I think that is a compliment?????
Love Ju
# Jasminka 2011-08-17 06:12
I guess, dear Ju, that I'll just take it as a compliment! :D , Love,Jas
Far Away Eyes
# Far Away Eyes 2011-08-16 07:08
I saw some comments out of I think Comic Con that they weren't sure how to "top" The French Mistake. My answer is this: Send Bizarro Jared and Jensen from that universe into Sam and Dean's. You can have them have the benefit of having the real Sam and Dean keeping them alive, or you can dump them alone. Come on, you know it'd be fun.

As for the other wonderful ideas here, hilarious. If anyone could pull any of these off with success, it'd be Mr. Edlund!
# Sylvie 2011-08-16 09:43
That would be oh so funny to dump the real actors in the Winchester's world. I bet they wouldn't last very long though. Dean would call them a nasty word and Sam would just roll his eyes.
Far Away Eyes
# Far Away Eyes 2011-08-16 15:40
I'm just saying. It'd be hilarious. It wouldn't be the "real" Jared and Jensen, but the ones everyone thought they were, have them not getting along, Jared a rich snob, Jensen into fancy robotic toys like that helicopter, whatever. Hell, throw in Gen for good measure. It's unfortunate for Misha that he was killed off or he could join in, but still. Could you imagine the hysterics of Sam and Dean meeting Jensen and "something called a Jared Padalecki?"

Considering I'm working on a meta fiction article, it just came to me after rewatching The French Mistake.
# Jasminka 2011-08-17 06:14
I like the idea, FarAwayEyes! Who knows, perhaps the Edlund's brain walks this way... :-) , Jas
Far Away Eyes
# Far Away Eyes 2011-08-17 15:27
His mind, his brilliant mind, is far far craftier than mine, but who knows? I just think it'd be a riot.
# BagginsDVM 2011-08-16 19:24
Wow! Now I really can't wait for the new season. Yeah, the evil bread gets me too! Darn those carbs!
# Jasminka 2011-08-17 06:15
Bad, bad, evil, wicked carbs!!! Take care, Dawn, and thanks! ;-) , Jas
# Belinda 2011-08-30 07:32
Cas and fishtanks and superglue? LOL! Sign me up! I totally want this episode! That just sounds hilarious!!

And voodoo ceremonies? Someone must have been watching Misha's Random Acts official video where he mentioned the fans making Castiel voodoo dolls! LOL!

Oh Ben Edlund, I love you!

Now where is my space pirate episode that you promised?