In Praise of the Jaredoodle
 
The Winchester Family Biz Gazette’s exclusive report, brought to you by Jaspala Wesson
 
 
From hurting puppy to adorable pet with teeth in his mouth – here’s Jaspala Wesson’s exclusive report on a new breed of rarities. Despite its discovery in 2005, this exceptional breed hasn’t been studied by scientists yet. But – times are changing. The WFB Gazette’s intrepid reporter hunted down the researchers entrusted with the study of this amazing species and is able to give you – world exclusively – a brand new depiction of this popular kind.
 
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Puzzling everyone who came across the Jaredoodle from the start, this particular kind became a favourite with people all around the globe. ‘It’s rare to find a species so intriguing and loveable’, the WFB Gazette was told by leading scientists. Though at first named Goliathoodle because of his size, the more endearing name Samoodle was considered, until scientists settled for Jaredoodle. The nice ring to this name is soon to become widely popular. 
 
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After years of study, researchers have been able to categorize this species’ habitat, appearance and temperament, eating habits and possible prognosis for future development. 
 
History
 
The Jaredoodle’s natural home are the dry plains of Texas, but by now we know that he also thrives excellently in Kansas, though he’s most effective when on the road. It’s a species that requires an assignment and has proven to be most versatile in hunting. 
 
Throughout history he has helped people to survive, being tough, resistant to disease, intelligent enough to avoid deadly traps but also brave and fast enough to face them, when protection of a beloved person was desired. The Jaredoodle soon became a favourite protector from the paranormal, sometimes even endowed with supernatural powers himself. 
 
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While skilled in the use of firearms of all kinds, the Jaredoodle developed many other talents necessary for survival in dire times, such as magic rituals, blood sigils, Ouija board or use of salt. 
 
Furthermore, he is a perfect hunter in all the hunting styles – be it still hunting (tracking ghosts or demons when it’s known they’re in the area but not sighted), stand hunting (taking a position and waiting for the game to go by, e.g. in a car on the road, a hidden room, behind a window), stalking (follow a ghost/demon when it is spotted but out of range, and the hunter moves within range while staying out of sight) or driving (often in groups, one group deliberately driving a demon in range or past a second armed and prepared group of hunters).
 
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A natural in all kinds of hunting styles, his skilled instincts are higher developed than those of most other hunting species on the planet. Though methods tend to vary, the essential talent for hunting has never disappointed with this kind.
 
Description
 
Appearance

As his name suggests, the Jaredoodle is of cuddly, loveable appearance, while is most distinguishing features can be wavy dark hair and a pleading look to his eyes that enthrals his counterpart and has proven particularly successful with the female population, children and people in distress. 

If not trimmed and properly groomed, his hair will cultivate a mind of its own, thus the acquisition of specific hair dryers is highly recommended. 
 
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The Jaredoodle’s inherent love for sports make him a species of athletic built which can easily surmount commons standards, not only in body form but also in height. Healthy and well cared for, he can grow to be about 6’4’’ early in his life, so adequate home decoration and furnishing is required for the Jaredoodle to not bump his head in too low ceilings or hurt his legs in too short beds. 
 
Known for dressing in layers, he seems to prefer dark, muted colours, accompanied by a fine instinct what kind of clothes fit which occasion. He has been reported to have trouble finding outfits to fit his unusual size. 
 
Temperament

The Jaredoodle is the kind of reliable companion desired by many. He is loving, independent, and despite an initial short phased aloofness to strangers, he likes to touch and hug others to express his affection and devotion. This species also needs a lot of warmth and security by his chosen circle, as well as regular body contact.
 
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He is playful and gentle and not afraid to make a fool of himself to cheer up his companions, and his loyalty verges on the absurd. A Jaredoodle will commonly hug as a greeting which can appear intimidating to those not familiar with his size. Limiting this behaviour, though, is not recommended by scientists. They agree that this would bring down the unique spontaneity this kind is famous for. 
 
To assimilate with changes he needs positive, reward-based encouragement. It has also been reported that the Jaredoodle has a penchant for mischief, though loving. He is protective of his family and caring of people in need.
 
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Despite his energetic, quite imposing exterior, the Jaredoodle is a deeply sensitive species and will suffer if submitted to too strict methods of persuasion or extortion. While this might be tolerated by a less gentle kind, it will in all likelihood backfire on the Jaredoodle, causing him to develop a depressive streak and endangering him to topple into a sometimes instable state. 
 
 
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Affectionate treatment is imperative with this species to enhance his intrinsic prowess, courage, enthusiasm and devotion. A species also fond of being engaged in acitivity, loving a good run and attention, he requires sufficient, but intensive exercise and the chance to travel. 
 
Food and health

Despite a weakness for salad shakes, the Jaredoodle needs a well-balanced diet and will remain in healthy condition when fed with a proper mix of vegetables and meat. He has been described to react allergic to pies. He will easily find the right balance in terms of nutrition, energy and amount of food, and people close to the Jaredoodle should rely on his instinct to feed well. 
 
If not fed properly, the Jaredoodle can be prone to accidents, mostly breaking bones, in particular upper limbs. Though he tends to heal quickly, the wearing of a cast will be vital to restore his vitality to pre-accident status. Scientists have also recommended taking care of his sensitive skin – genetic anomalies suggest evolutionary involvement with heat or flames, as there is a tendency to be burned easily. 
 
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The Jaredoodle has rarely actually been observed to drink sufficient water, therefore his close circle needs to keep in mind that clean, fresh water should be available at all times and probably offered to him, often at soft pressure, to keep him healthy. He may benefit, though, of Gatorade or Diet Coke and the occasional whiskey.
 
Prognosis
 
The Jaredoodle, if taken care of properly and allowed to develop his skills, is likely to become even more popular than he already is. He combines the best features of a human being and a rich soul, therefore being in danger of soon becoming an endangered species, someday only surviving in zoos or museums of natural history. That must not be the fate of this extraordinary kind.
 
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The Anti-Sulphur Society, the Supernatural Protection Fund and the Philanthropist Hunter Company established a donation account, to help this rare species survive. Donations are accepted in money, of course, but preferred are vouchers for petrol, shoes, Biggerson’s restaurants, shares of holy water wells, salt and silver mines. To donate, please write to the Winchester Family Business Gazette, at the hands of Jaspala Wesson.