â€œThe way I look at it, itâ€™s really not jumping the shark if you never come back down.â€ â€”Chuck the Prophet
Supernatural Jumps The Shark!
Supernatural Jumps The Shark!
Apparently these are the words of God, so there must be something to it, right? You thought the third Winchester brother worked out okay in the end, but itâ€™s for real this time! Just kidding. There has been some speculationâ€”and worryâ€”about where the show might go in season six. Will everything seem anticlimactic after concluding this epic five-year storyline?
If the stuff coming out of Comic-Con is any indication, sounds like weâ€™ve got a really exciting and intriguing sixth season coming up, with plenty of post-apocalyptic fallout, both supernatural and emotional, to deal with. But it got me to thinkingâ€”what if the writers DID run out of ideas? What if clueless network execs started calling the shots? What might Supernatural look like if they really, truly, completely jumped the shark and never came down? Weâ€™ve had literal Seasons from Hell, maybe itâ€™s time for a figurative one. I thought Iâ€™d share some speculative scenarios reflecting just such a situation. Enjoy the train wreck!
1. The poor Impala is breaking down, and Dean just canâ€™t hold his baby together anymore. In a heartbreaking moment of staggering sacrifice, he uses his cell phone to videotape an appeal for help and submits it to MTVâ€™s â€œPimp My Ride.â€ Special guest star Xzibit and his team come to the rescue. She is unrecognizable by the end, and looks more like a tricked-out version of the Sacrament Lutheran Militiaâ€™s truck. The arsenal in the trunk is much better organized, however, and the holy water fire hose should come in handy. The script is written by Julie Siege.
3. The ratings are declining, and the network decides itâ€™s time for the regular cast to include a hot babe again. In a misguided attempt to get Sam out of Hell, Dean opens another Devilâ€™s Gate. Sadly, thereâ€™s no sign of Casey. Instead, Bela Talbot crawls out of the pit. Sheâ€™s a demon now, but no one can tell the difference.
6. Itâ€™s crossover time. In a CW marketing gimmick, the Winchester brothers roll into Tree Hill, NC to investigate some demonic omens. In an effort to catch the demon, they vandalize the River Court with spray-painted devilâ€™s traps, and end up having to take on an offended Lucas and Nathan Scott in a bros vs bros game of pickup basketball. Ratings are sinking like the Titanic, and Eric Kripke is visibly upset by the anemic alternative-pop soundtrack selected for the episode.
7. The brothers travel to Canton, Ohio to investigate a guy whose head was slammed into the front of James Deanâ€™s car but bled down the back. Another guy is murdered by Honest Abe Lincoln (apparently conversational Spanish is required to understand the words â€œel Presidenteâ€). Their efforts are hampered by a bumbling Sherriff and out-to-lunch wax sculptor, and in the end we get to see Paris die. Why does all this sound familiar? Oh . . . we actually had this episode. Mustâ€™ve blocked it out.
8. When his fraudulent credit card is rejected, Dean is unable to purchase pay-per-view and quickly exhausts his supply of quarters for the Magic Fingers. He ends up watching late night infomercials and Carson Daly in a boozy haze, during which a commercial reminds him of his long-forgotten mission to hunt down Snuggles, the fabric softener bear. He and Sam jump into the Impala and drive, their sense of purpose restored, only to discover during their research that the Ghostfacers took care of it last week and turned it into a poorly edited into an episode of their reality series. Dean takes this as a personal affront and decides to sabotage their next hunt. An episode of douchnozzilian chicanery and hijinks ensues.
9. The fan backlash against the return of the British babe is getting out of control. Kripke convinces the network to allow them to take fan suggestions for an episode, even though the body swap didnâ€™t work out as well as theyâ€™d hoped. They are promptly bombarded by requests from Suze and the gang from the Winchester Family Business to take on zombie alligators. Ben Edlund writes it. The creature takes a few bites out of Samâ€™nâ€™Dean, but the Impalaâ€™s firehose is used to douse and subdue the demonic Bela, allowing the alligator to eat her instead. Far from jumping the shark, the episode is hailed as an instant classic and highlight of the series.
10. It canâ€™t save the season, however. The ratings are still tanking. In a last ditch effort, the network finally throws some money at Supernatural, and announces the RETURN OF JEFFREY DEAN MORGAN!!! Fangirls are passing out from excitement. Time to celebrate, break out the champagneâ€”er, not so fast. Heâ€™s not back to play John Winchester. Network executives decide to capitalize upon the popularity of â€œGreyâ€™s Anatomyâ€ among young women and insist that Mr. Morgan reprise the role of the ghostly Denny Duquette. Given what theyâ€™re paying, they feel he should play the character that made him famous, not Big Daddy John. Sam and Dean are dispatched to Seattle Grace at the request of Dr. Izzy Stevens to hunt Denny down.
Are you horrified yet? Nauseous just thinking about it? Or do you feel a lot better, because no matter what comes our way in season six, it CANNOT POSSIBLY be as bad as this?!?!
So, share your ideas for train wreck episodes and storylines, your worst-case scenarios for a Season 6 that is the stuff of nightmares--and not in a good way. What do you imagine when you think of Supernatural jumping the shark in ways that defy belief? Share the most ridiculous, over the top ideas you come up with, episodes that would surely mark a rapid downward spiral and invite immediate cancellation. Itâ€™s bound to increase our appreciation for the show, which despite occasional flaws, is pretty awesome.
Just a few weeks left . . . Happy hellatus, everyone! --ElenaM