"Jus in Bello"
--Robin's Rambles by Robin Vogel
In Monument, Colorado, Dean and Sam, guns in hand, search Bela's hotel room. Sam asks his brother if he's sure this is Bela's room. Dean holds up a red and blond wig--disguises Bela uses--it is. The phone rings. It's Bela, who has the Colt beside her on the car seat and claims to be two states away. Dean tells her he wants the Colt back; many people will die if she doesn't return it. She wants to know what he thinks she's going to do with it. Sell it to the highest bidder, he says. You know nothing about me, she retorts. He swears he'll find her because he has nothing better to do than track her down.
Seeing flashing red lights, she assures him he's going to be quite preoccupied; she took precautions. At that moment, police officers burst into the hotel room and order the brothers down on their knees. "Bitch!" spits Dean. Bela breathes a deep sigh of relief. Sam and Dean, face down on the carpet, are read their Miranda rights. They look up, up and see their old nemesis, Victor Henriksen, towering over them. "Hi, guys," he says jocularly, "it's been a while." Dean drops his head to the floor, knowing he's in deep trouble.
Victor enters the modest Sheriff's station like he's cock of the walk and is annoyed to find out he's in a Mayberry RFD station with only a few men there to greet him and bask in his glory. He releases the only prisoner, a drunk, and tells a furious Sheriff Dodd that this is a BIG rodeo, and he's bringing in very dangerous criminals--think Hannibal Lechter and his half-wit little brother. They dig up graves and mutilate corpses--Satan worshipping nutbag killers. Listening to this scary description, fingering the cross around her neck is pretty Nancy, the secretary. Work with me, Henriksen asks the sheriff, and I'll have these guys over to Max and you can be home in time to watch the Farm Report. (Condescending, much, Victor?) Dodd agrees to help, but with little enthusiasm. Victor asks him to post his men at the exits.
When Nancy hears they're bringing in the prisoners, she looks as much anticipatory as frightened. Sam and Dean, chained together hand and foot, are led in. "Why all the sourpusses?" asks Dean. Sam notes a rosary on Nancy's desk. "We're not the ones you should be scared of, Nancy," says Dean. They are roughly pushed down the hallways and locked together in a cell. Sam moves toward the bars, Dean toward the sink, and they nearly fall. "Come on!" says Sam. "Sit?" says Dean. They do, but not without a lot of humorous dancing. "How are we going to Houdini ourselves out of this one?" asks Sam "Good question," says Dean. Henrickson calls Steven at the Bureau and says, "I got 'em." Because of all Victor's previous failures in getting the Winchester boys, Steve is sending a chopper for them--no ground transportation! Steve himself will be on itâ€”the Winchesters have been a thorn in his ass for months! Victor hangs up and tells Dodd there's a helicopter on the way. We don't have a heliport, says Dodd. "Clear the damn parking lot!" orders Victor, who goes to Sam and Dean and says, "Do you know what I'm trying to decide?" "Whether or not Cialis will help your little condition?" quips Dean. "Whether I should have surf or turf for dinner tonight," says Victor, "Maybe both--I've got a lot to celebrate--seeing you two in chains?" "You kinky son of a bitch," taunts Dean, "you know we don't swing that way!" Dean advises Victor not to bust out the melted butter just yet--he hasn't successfully contained them in the past. Victor agrees--he underestimated them and didn't count on their intelligence, now he's ready, keeping them in a maximum security prison in Nevada until trial, in isolation, in a sound-proof, windowless, probably unconstitutional room. Take a good look at Sam--you two will never see each other again. Where's that smug smile, Dean? I wanna see it. "You've got the wrong guys," says Dean. "Oh, you fight monsters," says Victor. "Your daddy brainwashed you with all the devil talk, no doubt touched you in a bad place." "Shut your mouth," orders Dean, as Sam sits up, ready to fight. "But not everybody becomes a killer," says Victor.
Above them, they hear a helicopter. Sam sees the lights through the one high window. "And now I have two less to worry about," says Victor. "It's surf and turf time." Laughing, he leaves them. Steven has arrived with lots of paperwork for Victor to fill out--now. Dodd hands him a pen. Steven goes to look at the fugitives. He closes the door between the office and their cell and introduces himself. "This is a pleasure," he says, "I've been waiting a long time for you two to come out of the woodwork." Steven produces a gun and shoots Dean, catching him in the left shoulder, felling him. Sam fights as hard as he can with him, despite his fettered wrists. Then he realizes Steven has black demon eyes and begins an exorcism. "Sorry I've gotta cut this short,â€ says Steven, â€œit's gonna be a long night, fellas!" The demon exits the mouth in a plume of thick, dark smoke and leaves through the air vent. Hearing the commotion, Dodd and Victor rush to the cell, guns ready, and order Sam to drop the gun. He does, hastily trying to explain he didn't shoot Steven, Steven shot Dean. Victor checks Steven's body, finding no bullet wounds. Sam tells them Steven was possessed. Victor refuses to accept that and wants to fly the Winchesters out of here now. "Yeah, do THAT," says Dean sarcastically. Sam and Dean are more worried about demons than prison right now. Dodd and Victor can't reach the helicopter pilot on the radio, and when Agent Reidy goes out to check, he finds only dead men. A bright light engulfs him. Hearing a rushing sound through the walkie talkie, Victor calls "Reidy!" Outside, the helicopter is in flames. Reidy, bleeding but still alive, stands up to check things out. Suddenly, he finds himself face to face with a demon, who kills him.
Sheriff Dodd loads his gun, panicking as he asks what's going on and what's happened to his men. Nancy finds the phone, her cell and internet dead In the center of all the insanity stands Victor, thinking. The lights go out. Everyone looks up fearfully, Victor, speculatively. Sam and Dean, still in their cell, stand up. "That can't be good," murmurs Dean. Dodd wants to vacate the premises, but Victor won't allow it; he insists if they go, they, too, will die--this is a siege. Whatever is out there is coming in here. Nancy looks petrified. Victor shouts, "We have to deal with this like trained professionals with some sense in our heads!" Victor asks Nancy if she's OK. First she nods, then shakes her head. He promises to get her through this. Sam staunches Dean's still-bleeding shoulder. Victor comes to them and asks, "What's the plan--kill everyone in the station, bust you two out?" Dean assures him whoever is out there is NOT here to help them. Everyone here is in terrible danger, says Sam. "Why don't you let us out of here so we can save your asses?" asks Dean. "From what?" asks Victor--"and don't you dare say demons!--you should be a lot more scared of me!"
Dean shows Sam his shoulder is still bleeding, "but I'll live--if we get out of here alive." Seeing Nancy looking at them, Sam puts on his best puppy eyes and asks for a clean towel for his brother's wound. "We're not the bad guys," he says earnestly. Dean grins at her, but she walks away. "Nice try," he tells Sam. However, Nancy reappears with the towel, and Sam thanks her and coaxes her to come closer, taking the towel. When she pushes her hand through the bars, he grabs her and pulls her closer. She screams in fear. The Deputy comes running to her side, pointing his gun at the Winchesters. Nancy assures him she's all right. Dean smacks Sam. "What the hell was that?" he asks. Sam shows that he snagged Nancy's rosary, and Dean nods. (Later) Sam whispers to his brother, "We're like sitting ducks in here." "I know," says Dean, then adds, loudly, "Would it kill someone to bring us a snack?" "We don't know how many there are," says Sam, "they could just be possesing anybody and walk right in." "It's like they're coming right for us," muses Dean, "they've never done that before--it's like they got a contract on us. . .you think it's because we're so awesome? I think it's because we're so awesome." Dean stops smiling under his brother's glare. Sheriff Dodd comes to let them out, but something about his demeanor makes them back away and volunteer to stay. Victor asks the sheriff what the hell he's doing. Dodd says they're going to make a run for it, to a SWAT facility in Boulder. "We're not going anywhere," says Victor, and shoots Todd. Sam and Dean overpower Victor and push his head into the toilet bowl in their cell, where they have thrown Nancy's rosary. Sam recites the exorcism as they keep Victor's head in the holy toilet water.
When the Deputy comes around the corner, shotgun in his hands, Dean holds up Victor's gun and orders, "Stay where you are!" while Sam finishes the exorcism. He banishes the demon from Victor, but not before it says, "It's too late, I called them, they're already coming!" Nancy and the Deputy watch the plume of black smoke exit Victor's mouth and fly away over their heads. Victor falls to the floor in a heap. "Is he dead?" asks Nancy. Victor coughs and sits up. "Is that you in there, Henriksen?" asks Sam cautiously. Gun trained on the FBI man, Dean waits. Confused, Victor says, "I--I shot the sheriff." "But you didn't shoot the Deputy," finishes Dean, grinning despite Sam's bitch-face. "I was fine and then. . ." says Victor. "Nasty black smoke jammed itself down your throat," says Dean. "You were possessed," says Sam--"that's what it feels like." "I owe you the biggest I-told-you-so ever," says Dean. He hands Henriksen back his gun. "Officer Amici," says Victor," keys." Sam and Dean are freed from their chains.
Victor stands before the Winchesters. "So how do we survive?" he asks. Sam spray-paints an orange Devil's Trap at the entrance to the station. While Nancy bandages Dean's shoulder, Amici amasses an arsenal of guns. Dean explains, "You don't poke a bear with a BB gun, it'll only make them mad--we need lots and lots of salt." "There's road salt in the store room," says Nancy. "Perfect," says Dean, "we need it at every window and door." As the Deputy and Victor run to comply, Dean asks Nancy how she's holding up. OK, she says, telling him a story about how she used to come home from church and talk about the devil--her parents would tell her to stop being so literal--"I guess I showed them, huh?" Dean thanks her for the bandage and smiles. (That smile was so very hot, I had to note it here.) Amici brings in salt and tells Dean the Impala is in the impound lot out back. "You're not going out there?" he asks Dean, who says he needs something from his trunk.
Dean runs quickly to unlock the gate to the impound lot, grabbing items from the trunk of the Impala. He sees the lights at the gas station nearby flicker as huge plumes of smoke come tearing around the pumps. The wind is blowing hard, howling along with the smoke. Dean grabs one more object from the trunk's hood and watches the smoke bearing down on the sheriff's station. He slings his backpack over his shoulder and runs, staring back at the looming, monstrous smoke.
While Sam continues spray-painting more Devil's Traps, Nancy, the Deputy and Victor are lining salt at all the windows and doors as quickly as possible. Dean enters and closes the door behind him. "THEY'RE COMING!" he shouts. A black cloud of smoke bangs into a window Nancy is staring through, scaring her into screaming. Sam, Dean, Nancy, the Deputy and Victor gather in the office. The demon cloud, roaring like a tornado, surrounds the building, making it instantly very dark in the building. Nancy holds tightly to her cross. A bit of plaster drifts down from the ceiling. Thanks to all the precautions taken, there is no way in for the demon horde, and the smoke retreats, leaving eerie silence. "Everybody OK?" asks Sam. Dean passes out medallions that will keep everyone from becoming possessed. "What about you and Sam?" asks Nancy. Solemnly, the brothers pull aside their shirts to reveal tattoos stenciled on the left side of their chests. "Smart," says Victor, "how long you had those?" "Not long enough," says Sam. Victor picks up Sheriff Dodd's name plate and gazes at it sadly. Nancy, staring out the window, spots an army of demon-possessed townspeople heading toward the station. "It's Jenna Ruebner!" she says, stunned. "It's not Jenna anymore," says Sam. That's where all that black demon smoke went, he explains. Amici stands on a chair to look at the demon crowd. In doing so, he unknowingly breaks the salt seal on the window sill.
Dean and Victor work in the office, loading a salt-filled shell into a shotgun. Victor muses on using condiments against this enemy--and that demons ARE real. Dean informs him that ghosts, vampires, witches, changelings, werewolves, evil clowns that eat people are real, too--but Bigfoot is a hoax. That doesn't make Victor feel better. He asks Dean how many demons they're dealing with, but Dean doesn't know, beyond "a lot." Victor laments his boring job, how he works three years for maybe one break, but few captures, few saves. He's been busting his ass doing this for 15 years, nailed only a few guys, and all this while, in the corner something so big. . .sign me up for that big frosty mug of wasting my whole life. "You didn't know," Dean reminds him. "Well now I do," says Victor--"Can you beat what's out there?" "Honestly," says Dean, I think the world's going to end bloody, but we have choices--I'm going to fight and go down swinging." "Plus you got nothin' to go home to but your brother," points out Victor. "What about you--you rockin' the while picket fence?" asks Dean. No, Victor has an empty apartment, a string of angry ex-wives--"I'm right where you are." They smile at each other. (Nice scene. These once bitter enemies becoming compadres, understanding each other's lives. Nice bonding.)
The shattering of glass leads everyone to the window Amici left unprotected. It's Ruby! "She's here to help us," says Sam quickly. Dean looks like he'd prefer to attack her. Sam scrapes open the Devil's Trap, allowing her to enter. "And they say chivalry's dead," she says sarcastically, "anyone have a breath mint? I got some guts in my mouth while killing my way in here." Sam checks the window ledge to restore the salt line. Dean asks Ruby, "How many are out there?" "Thirty at least," she replies. "All gunning for us--great!" says Dean--"Who sent 'em?" "You didn't tell your brother?" Ruby asks Sam. Dean looks at his brother. "There's a new up and comer in town," says Ruby, "her name is Lilith. She really, really wants Sam's intestines on a stick--she sees him as competition." "You knew about this?" demands Dean. Sam is silent. "Is there anything else I should know?" asks Dean, angry. "How about the two of you talk about this later," says Ruby, "we'll need the Colt." "It got stolen," admits Sam reluctantly. "I must have gotten blood in my ear," says Ruby harshly, "you let the Colt get stolen? This is fantastic, just peachy! Since we have no other option, there's only one way I know of to get you out of here alive. I know a spell--it will vaporize every demon--including myself--in a one mile radius, so now, I have to die. Next time, be more careful. How's that for a dying wish?" "What do we have to do?" asks Dean. "We need a virgin," says Ruby. "No one's a virgin!" insists Dean. All eyes turn to Nancy. "No way, you're kiddin' me," says Dean. "What, it's a choice," says Nancy defensively. "You've never, not even once, not even, wow!" babbles Dean. "So, the spell," says Nancy, "what do I have to do?" "You can hold still while I cut your heart out of your chest," says Ruby. "Are you crazy?" asks Dean. "I'm offering a solution," says Ruby. "You're offering to KILL somebody," says Dean. "What do you think is going to happen to this girl when the demons get in? counters Ruby. "We're gonna protect her, that's what," says Victor. "Very noble," mocks Ruby, "you're all very noble--look, this is the only way." "Excuse me," interjects Nancy, "will all of you please shut up? All the people out there--will it save them? "It'll get the demons out of their bodies," says Ruby, so if their bodies are OK, yeah." The two women stare at each other a moment. "I'll do it," says Nancy. Dean and Victor immediately object. "All my friends are out there," says Nancy, "We can't sacrifice people," insists Victor, "we do that, we're no better than them." "We don't have a choice," says Ruby. "Your choice is not a choice," says Dean. Ruby turns to Sam, says, "You know I'm right." Dean looks at his brother, incredulous. "Sam?" he says. "Sam, tell her!" "It's my decision," says Nancy. "Damn straight, cherry pie, says Ruby. "STOP!" shouts Dean. "Nobody kill any virgins. Sam, I need to talk to you." They head down a hallway together to talk.
Hallway - "Please tell me you're not considering this," begs Dean, "you're talking about holding down a girl and cutting out her heart!" "We're also talking about 30 people out there, innocent people," says Sam, "who are ALL gonna die, along with everyone in here. "We don't throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans!" says Dean. "I'm not going to let that demon kill a nice, innocent girl who hasn't even been laid!" (A lot of steamy fan fic was written about Dean taking care of this for Nancy. All of it made her sorry she had waited so long.) Dean says, "If that's how you win wars, I don't wanna win." "Then what do we do?" asks Sam. "I have a plan," says Dean, "it might fail, but it sure as hell beats killin' a virgin." "What's the plan?" asks Sam. "Open the doors, let 'em all in, and fight," says Dean.
Sam joins Ruby and Dean in the office. "Get the equipment to work?" asks Dean. "Yeah," says Sam, "this is insane." Ruby tells them, in no uncertain terms, their idea is going to fail and she's leaving. "I was going to kill myself to help you win," she says, "I'm not going to stand here and watch you lose--and I'm disappointed." She gazes at Sam. "I tried--but clearly, I bet on the wrong horse." Sam scrapes the salt line and Devil's Trap to let her out. She stands before the angry horde of demons waiting at the doors of the station and holds up her demon-killing knife. "I'm leaving," she announces. "who wants to stop me?" The demons part to let her leave, but Jenna gazes at her, black eyes gleaming with hatred.
Tensions rise high as the heavily armed Victor, Dean and Sam open every door and get rid of all protective symbols and salt. They wait. Within moments, demons charge the station, attacking them. Victor, getting throttled by one while trying to load his weapon, says, "Hope this works," flinging holy water into the demon's face. The demon groans and retreats. Dean and Victor find themselves back to back, shooting the enemy, reloading their weapons, and using hand to hand combat when necessary. Sam, attacked from behind, gets free and makes quick work of that demon and a few others. On the roof watching more demons racing into the building, Nancy tells Amici, "When this is over, I'm going to have so much sex!" He looks at her hopefully. "But not with you," she adds. "We better move."
Glass breaks, fists pound into faces and walls as Dean, Sam and Victor continue to fight the demons. Nancy and Amici close the doors and begin spreading salt outside the station. Inside, the battle goes on, Sam tossing lots of holy water on the demons to keep them at bay. Eventually, Dean and Sam end up on one side of the room, the demons on the other. Jenna steps forward, holds up her hand, and pins the brothers to a brick wall. "Henriksen, NOW!" shouts Dean, but Victor has to knock a demon off his back before he can press the ON button of a tape recorder. Sam's voice fills the station with the beautiful Latin words of the exorcism. Outside, Nancy, piling salt outside a door, is not able to prevent one demon from escaping. As he runs off, the Deputy finishes salting the outside of the door. Sam's voice performing the exorcism sends the demons into a frenzy of uncontrolled convulsions. They cover their ears, but it doesn't help. They bang on locked doors, but are trapped by the salt lines. Soon, smoke begins to pour from their mouths, swirling above their heads and exploding into fire as the exorcism concludes. Sam and Dean fall painfully from the wall. Victor enters, wiping blood from his mouth. The three of them look at each other, pleased--it worked! Lights flash back on. The townspeople lying on the floor begin to stir.
"I'd better call in," says Victor. "Another story I won't be tellin'." "So what are you going to tell them?" asks Sam. "The least ridiculous lie I can come up with in the next five minutes," says Victor. "Good luck with that," says Dean. "I'm gonna kill you," says Victor, "Sam and Dean were in the chopper when it caught on fire--nothing was left, can't even identify 'em with dental records. Rest in peace, guys." Sam and Dean each warmly shake his hand. "Now get outta here." says Victor. They go.
Later: As they're sweeping and cleaning up the station, a little girl is led into the police station holding an adult's hand. "Hello there," says Nancy, smiling at her. "I'm looking for two boys," says the child, "they're brothers. One's really tall, and one's really cute." Asked her name, the girl replies, "Lilith." The child's eyes turn white and Nancy, frightened, steps back. Victor runs toward her. Lilith holds up her hand, a terrible white light engulfs the station. Everyone screams.
Motel room - Sam lies on a bed on his back, staring at the ceiling. Someone knocks at the door--Ruby. "Turn on the news," she snaps. The on-screen reporter says a ruptured gas main appears to be the source that caused the explosion that took the lives of everyone inside the police station. Among the deceased--at least six police officers, Melvin Dodd, Bill Amici, Nancy Fitzgerald, as well as FBI agents Steven Groves, Calvin Reidy, and Victor Henriksen. Two fugitives in custody were also killed. Dean and Sam look at each other, guilt-stricken. Considering the size of the blast, says Ruby, throwing them protective bags to keep Lilith off their trail, the smart money's on Lilith. Sam thanks her. "Don't thank me!" orders Ruby, "Lilith killed your precious little virgin plus half a dozen other people! Turns out YOUR plan was the one with the body count! You know how to fight a battle? You strike fast and don't leave any survivors. You don't leave any survivors who can go to the boss. Next time, we go with MY plan!" She stomps out. Dean and Sam stare at each other, considering what Ruby said. Is she right? Is it their fault Victor, Nancy and all the others died?
1. Assuming she's telling the truth about the spell vaporizing her (everyone stop laughing and bear with my bending the laws of SPN reality), a gamble given that there was no guarantee that they wouldn't go with Dean's down-swingin' plan.
The one demon escaped to ostensibly rat on them to Lilith, but Ruby herself could easily done so, not that red herring.
2. It's a personal gig. If consenting adults want to get funky, great for them. If someone doesn't want to, great for them. Given Dean's world (that helps inform his worldview) his reaction isn't surprising, but I never got the impression that he was looking down on her, only that he was surprised that an attractive twentysomething hadn't.
3. Henriksen, too cool. Which is precisely why he had to die. I know Alice isn't a big fan of this ending (sorry, boss, gotta call you out on it :D) but I loved it because Dean's plan *was* the human plan and a potentially great ally paid the price. More angst, please.
4. Loved the plan, completely John Carpenter-esque . I still think Ruby blabbed.
1. Considering what we know now, Ruby's plans do leave something to be desired as we don't know what she was conspiring for. And what would Ruby's plan have done to the human Sam, Dean, Victor and the deputy? How could they live with themselves after that? Mind boggling that Sam was even considering her plan.
2. I didn't feel that Dean was looking down on Nancy and her virginity. To me, it seemed like admiration that she would have such convictions. And poor Nancy would have been lucky to have remedied that situation with Dean as the fanfiction implied. (Haven't found any of those tales yet, and when would they have had the time anyway?).
3. I was very sorry that Victor was killed as he was realizing the good works of the brothers and I was hoping for an ally in him. I know Randal wants the angst built to overwhelming, but I wish for a little bit of good things for the boys just once in a while.LOL!
4. The plan was excellent and even if that demon had not escaped, what would have prevented Lilith from killing them all in any case?
5. Me too!
1. We now know that Ruby was mostly trying to trick the brothers. Still, for her long-term plan to work she did need at least Sam alive, so chances are she was convinced it would work.
As for SamÂ´s vs. DeanÂ´s choice of options, IÂ´m actually on SamÂ´s side. DeanÂ´s plan included killing innocent people as well or at least being prepared to do it - the village people the demons were possessing - (and they did end up killing some of them, as far as I could tell), and unlike Nancy they hadnÂ´t offered themselves up. So I think Sam was right to at least consider it. There was no good choice here, only the slightly better of two awful ones.
2. I just think it had never occurred to him that beyond a certain age someone might actually decide not to have sex. If anything, the concept seemed to fascinate him as something completely exotic.
IÂ´m also pretty sure he would not have tried to seduce her, had things ended differently, he would have respected her choice, especially after understanding that she was apparently saving herself for "Mr. Right". He would have respected that and not mocked her for it, not in words and not in action. He may be a loveÂ´em and leaveÂ´em, but not because he despises women but because his kind of life doesnÂ´t leave him much choice.
As for myself, I donÂ´t see things her way and never have for that matter, but I still think that if someone wants to live their lives that way, they are perfectly entitled. Their choice is the right one for them, as mine is the right one for me.
3. Victor surprisingly turned out to be quite a decent guy. ItÂ´s hard to admit to having been so tremendously wrong about something, but he still did it and did his best to repair his mistake immediately (not that he had much to blame himself for, it all made sense from his point of view, and he may have been smug, but not a complete asshole when he was still "fighting" them)
I hadnÂ´t thought about that, but yes, I could see him picking up hunting, and he would have made a good friend as well. I liked the bond he was forming with Dean. Cool guy, I was sorry they ended up killing him off, just when I was starting to really like him.
4. Well, yes the plan was clever, but my problem with it is still the fact that they shied away from killing the virgin (true, in a particularly gruesome way) but didnÂ´t think twice about killing the possessed people, or at least maybe having to kill them - of course they did not have much choice, if they didnÂ´t want everybody, including the possessed people, to end up dead, but I still donÂ´t see how this is much better than killing Nancy. Both to me were equally horrible options, killing Nancy more terrible because of the circumstances, and killing the possessed people, well because chances were they would have to kill more than just one of them, maybe many (not kill the demons but damage the bodies so the victims would not survive once the demons had been exorcised)
5. ItÂ´s not among my top episodes, but there are many aspects about it that I love and that keep me coming back to it, I love the drama in it and the questions it raises. ItÂ´s still not an episode I enjoy because I find it quite disturbing and almost disheartening. There are very few episodes that make me feel the filthiness of this entire demon business as vividly as this one. In this episode I can feel how there is nothing grand or exciting about fighting demons, most of the time itÂ´s simply a desperate struggle to keep their lives and their humanity. I always "know" that, but in this one, I can actually feel it, I can feel the despair.
So this to me makes it a superbly done episode, but I canÂ´t quite enjoy it.