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Ash draws a symbol on the outer door that looks more like a quadratic equation than an Enochian symbol, but hey, if it works. He warns that Zack is going to be watching every road to the Garden. Sam gives Pamela a big hug, practically swallowing her in those giant arms. She warns to watch his ass. I’ve noticed this time Pamela isn’t anywhere near as flirty. She should have at least grabbed his ass or something. Earth Pamela would have done that. Dean goes for his hug, but she reaches out and gives him a long deep kiss instead. Lord knows she’s been wanting to do that for a while. That sparks the jealously of hoards of fan girls. Yep, it’s every bit as dreamy as she imagined.
Ash’s turn for goodbyes, but I doubt he’s going to get a hug and kiss. Instead, he has some dead on accurate words. “Gentlemen. I don’t mean to be a downer or anything but uh, I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” Dean gets a smile from Pamela and tells Ash to keep a sixer on ice for them. He opens the door and they leave. I love the visual of the scene changing from the bar to the inside of their old house just by panning across the door. Does everyone like it when I point out cool little directors tricks? It’s the dork in me.
Sam and Dean are shocked to find they’re back home. No wait, I use “shocked” too much. How about “Taken aback?””Knocked for six?” “Bewildered?” Ah, fun with a Thesaurus. Needless to say, it’s not where they want to be. They decide to look for the road again and then Mary appears. She’s in that trademark white nightgown. I wonder if Samantha Smith and Misha Collins get together at cons and share horror stories of having to wear the same outfit every appearance. I’d be griping. Anyway, Mary is playing caring mother, asking Dean why he’s up. Dean apologizes, says he loves her, but she’s not real. Real is overrated Dean. He tries to explain they don’t have time but she goes on with the “please tell me your nightmare bit.” She’s sucking him in, but he catches himself and says they’ve got to go. “Then let me tell you my nightmare Dean, the night I burned.” Uh oh, me thinks she’s an illusion.
Blood pools on her stomach and Dean and Sam are a little bothered. Okay, a lot. Dean tells Sam they should leave but Mary pulls authority. ”Don’t you walk away from me!” Poor Dean is disturbed now. “I never loved you,” Mary says, going for the mindfuck now. ”You were my burden, I was shackled to you.” Whatever she’s saying must be working, for Dean listens like his world is ending. ”Look what it got me,” and she has yellow eyes. Hey, that’s Sam’s burden! Is that the general rule of this show? Everyone close to Dean must wear the yellow eyes to taunt him? It always works.
Sam tries to get Dean’s attention, but Dean is entranced. Then the lights go green and there are bricks on the doors and walls. Oh yeah, they’re trapped. Mary loses the yellow eyes, puts on her malevolent look and goes on with her monologuing. ”The worst was the smell. The pain, what can you say about your skin bubbling off.” Now Sam is sucked in too and getting his heart crushed. ”But the smell, you know for a second I thought I left the pot roast burning in the oven. But it was my meat.” Dean backs away in horror, feeling around the brick wall while she continues. “But finally I was dead. But the one silver lining, at least I was away from you.” Ooh, she’s really digging deep. “Everybody leaves you Dean, noticed? Mommy, Daddy, and even Sam. Ever ask yourself why? Maybe it’s not them. Maybe it’s you.”
I’m not sure what it is, but she must have some sort of spell over these guys, for both Sam and Dean are just taking this in with horror and heartbreak. I guess hitting their mother is not the most appropriate thing, but it isn’t their mother, is it? I’m assuming they sensed that but couldn’t risk it. Zachariah tells her easy and Sam uses that “you did this?”accusatory tone. Who else would have??? He’s just getting started, wondering how they thought they could sneak past him into “mission control.” Sam calls him a son of a bitch, and again I wish swearing was allowed, even if it was bleeped out. You Mother****** would have been more appropriate.
Sam and Dean are suddenly restrained by two henchmen and Zachariah has an evil point. ”You know, I would say the same thing about you Sam but I have actually grown quite fond of your mother, or at least the blessed memory of her.” He kisses her neck and she loves it, making Dean wince. Me too! He goes on that they’re going to be logging a lot of quality time together and now Sam is pissed too. Interesting reaction considering he doesn’t have much of an attachment. ”I’ve discovered she’s quite the MILF.” Dean gets tough, telling him he can gloat all he wants but he’s still balding. Zachariah reveals he has six wings and four faces in Heaven, one of them is a Lion. They see his human form because they are (he strokes Mary’s arm and Sam gets disgusted), limited. You’re evil!
Zachariah snaps away Mary and it's time for the physical torture part of our program. Dean talks smart about the bald guy getting him to say yes and Zachariah punches him in the stomach. He announces he's cleared his schedule, orders them to get Dean up and he hits him again. Now Zachariah goes through the "evil villain scorned" speech. "I was on the fast track once, employee of the month every month forever. I'd walk these halls and people would overt their eyes, I had respect!" Uh oh, evil villain on the edge. Not cool Zachariah.
He pulls himself together. Then he was assigned to them. "Now look at me. I can't close the deal on a couple of pathetic flannel wearing maggots?" Wasn't overconfidence considered a weakness in Star Wars? Zachariah does have an Emperor Palpatine thing going right now. Everyone's laughing now and they're right to do it. He doesn't care what Sam and Dean's answers are anymore, he's going to take it out of their asses. It's personal now and he warns the last person they want in the history of creation of their asses is him. "Lucifer may be strong, but I'm petty." Or pity, I honestly couldn't tell which. Petty makes more sense. He promises to be that little angel on their shoulder for the rest of eternity. Well that sucks.
A gentle voice interrupts. Zachariah pulls the douchy “I’m in a meeting line,” and that makes me really mad now, touching off the memories every arrogant prick manager I’ve ever worked with. Trust me, there have been many and they’re all like that. The other man respectfully asks to speak to Sam and Dean, but Zachariah can only muster an “excuse me?” Asshole. This soft spoken black man knows Zack’s busy but is afraid he’ll have to insist. Zachariah, being in full-on dick mode, tells him he doesn’t get the right to insist jack squat. The man agrees, but “the boss” does. His orders. “The boss” must be code for “God” among the angels. Sam and Dean are flabbergasted over this and Zachariah gets scared, pulling a “you’re lying.” Now why would he do that? Of course this man, who we presume to be Joshua, says “I wouldn’t lie about this.” “Look, fire me if you want, sooner or later he’s going to come back home, and you know how he is with that whole wrath thing.” Gotta love the quiet guy that gets to use threats if he has to. Speak softly and carry a big stick.