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No more time for the family airing of grievances, for the Heavenly spotlight of doom arrives. Sam and Dean run into the dark woods and then jump behind a log. The big bad Zachariah arrives, noting the irony of running from angels on foot, in Heaven. ”With out of the box thinking like that I’m surprised you boys haven’t stopped the apocalypse already.” Oh, I get it”¦sarcasm. Zachariah snaps his fingers and its daylight now. Zack goes on, telling them he just wants to send them back to Earth, that’s all. Right. It’s a wonder he doesn’t try to sell them swamp land in Florida too. ”I mean that is before I tear you a cosmos of new ones.” Oh, there’s that vindictive spirit I was looking for.
Zack promises that by the time he’s through with them, they’re going to be begging to say yes. Sam and Dean decide to make a run for it, but Zack is right there. ”Guys, come on. You can run but you can’t”¦run.” They go in the other direction and there’s a masked wrestler with a cape there? Okay. He tells them to hurry, draws some sort of sigil on a nearby shed door and they enter a large room. It’s the roadhouse! Sam rightfully asks who he is and he removes his mask and cape. Those long locks of that mullet we all know and love fall out the back. It’s Ash! ”Buenos dias bitches.” He claps and turns on the lights. I love reunions. ”Welcome to my Blue Heaven.” Sam smiles, Dean is a bit bothered.
Dean and Sam come over to the bar, Dean noticing the roadhouse even smells the same. ”Bud, blood, and beer nuts. It’s the best smell in the world,” Ash says. He serves up two beers, letting them know up there’s no hangover. Sam asks the “no offense” question. “How does a dirtbag like me end up in a place like this?” Ash says. He’s been saved. Sam clarifies this is his Heaven. Ash answers yes while cutting a hole in the bottom of the beer can and then downing the whole thing a la a makeshift beer bong. Sam, who’s playing twenty questions, is finding that he starts questions and then Ash finishes the sentences. The angels after them were in his head. ”So there are two heavens?” No, more like a hundred billion. It’ll take the angel boys “a minute” to catch up. Or several. Dean and Sam are totally lost. I’ve just going to transcribe what Ash says, because this does get kind of freaky.
“You see, you’ve got to stop thinking of Heaven as one place. It’s more like a buttload of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland. Except without all the anti-Semitism (strange comment coming from a redneck). You see, you got Winchesterland. (Holds hands out) Ashland. A whole mess of everybody else lands, put them all together, Heaven. Right? In the center of it all is The Magic Kingdom, the Garden. “ Yep, this episode is really loving Disneyland.
Dean asks if everybody gets their own paradise. Ash confirms this. ”A few people share, special cases.” What cases? ”Ah, you know, like, soul mates.” There’s a moment of awkward silence. So Sam and Dean are soul mates? Think about it, isn’t this the first time they’ve died together? Most people can’t leave their “own Private Idaho.” That’s a B-52’s song and title of a movie for anyone that didn’t know that. But Ash ain’t most people. They don’t have his skills. ”I’ve been all over. Johnny Cash, Andre The Giant, (turns to Sam) Einstein.” Sam is fascinated by that one. He can really mix a White Russian. He also mentions the chick who wrote the Kama Sutra, but I’m not about to spell that.
“All this from a guy who used to sleep on a pool table,” Dean jokes. ”Yeah, now that I’m dead, I’m living man and a whole lot more.” So how did he find them? It seems our techno-geek mullet head rigged up his own scanner. He turns it on and the monitor starts screeching. That’s angel speak alright. They’re blabbing Enochian in which Ash is fluent. He heard that they were up, of course he had to come find them”¦AGAIN. Dean doesn’t understand. ”This ain’t the first time you’ve been here. I mean, you boys die more than anyone I’ve ever met.” Dean’s surprised to hear this? You don’t remember dying all those times? Apparently not, for the angels “Windexed their brains.” That’s a good way of putting it. Still, they have to remember dying on Earth.
Sam asks if he’s found anyone else, like Ellen and Jo. Ash is really shocked to hear Ellen and Jo are dead and there’s a small break in his “Mr. Cool” routine. Nice touch. Sam confirms for a few months now and Ash overcomes his upset and comforts himself with the fact they went down fighting. Hmm, this kind of opens the door for them to come back, huh? Maybe not. Dean observes that going down fighting didn’t do much good. Cynical bastard. He asks about their folks. No, he’s been looking all over but can’t find John and Mary Winchester yet. But there is someone he knows for sure that wants to “drive” with them. He goes into the kitchen, comes back out and it’s Pamela! With eyes. And the trademark Ramones t-shirt. This is definitely Heaven for her. “Nice to see you boys again.” Ash “oohs” over the pun.
Sam and Ash are checking out the Enochian monitor while Pamela and Dean drink and talk at another table. Ash tells Sam how nice it is to have a “practical application for string theory.” For the physicist that’s actually watching this show, I hope you enjoyed your private joke. Dean tries to catch up with Pamela, who smacks him on the head. “That’s for getting me killed.” She should have outright decked him. I guess this is Heaven. Dean doesn’t know what to say and we can tell the guilt is still killing him. ”If it makes you feel any better, we got Ash killed too.” “I’m cool with it,” Ash says, giving them the “rock on” sign.
Dean asks Pamela if she’s good. Yep, she’s good. She really means it. She recalls her death scene when she got shot and was coughing up blood, which is interesting considering she was stabbed. Given that fact though that there’s a whole mess of character continuity in this one and that’s the only slip up, I’ll let it pass. She remembers Dean said she would be going to a better place. “I was lying,” Dean says. “You were right,” Pamela replies. “My Heaven, it is one long show at the Meadowlands.” Sorry Pamela, but I can think of about eighty places better for concerts than that.
She goes on, saying how amazing it is and that he should see it. Dean doesn’t like that idea. He believes her, but doesn’t like the idea of spending eternity trapped in his own universe while the angels run the show. Wow, that does sound Matrix like, doesn’t it? Then he goes on to say it’s lonely, it’s The Matrix. Wow, I didn’t catch that reference the first couple of viewings. Strange how we’re thinking alike there. No, it isn’t. ”Attic’s still better than the basement.” Touche Ms. Barnes, Touche.
Dean sees she isn’t getting his point. For example, the roadhouse feels real, but it’s Memorex. Real is “down there.” Pamela doesn’t care, it’s close enough. She’s happy and at peace, so it’s looking pretty good. Oh, plus she has eyes. That’s a bonus. “What, you trying to sell me a time share?” Dean jokes. She knows that Michael wants to take him out for a test drive. ”What happens if you play ball with him? Worst case.” Dean says a lot of people will die. Pamela doesn’t see that as a bad thing since they get to go there. She can tell she’s making him mad, and says he just doesn’t need to fight it so hard. That’s a perfect break for Sam announcing Ash found a shortcut to the Garden. Ash does the “rock on” sign, Pamela does “hang loose.” Par-ty!