Warning, this is a really long one. In the past when recaps have gotten this long I've broken it up into two parts. This time I didn't do that. So, I'm hoping this will be killing some uber time at work for you. Enjoy!
Okay, Iâ€™ve taken enough recovery time after several days of staring at a blank document unable to comprehend how to tackle the recap for â€œMy Bloody Valentine.â€ So, with a glass of wine (and a few beers) and myself in a locked room, time to try this. It'll only take a few days.
She says she had a really good time. Then he calls her Alice. Alice?? A redhead named Alice?? Hmm, that has to be a coincidence. Edlund doesnâ€™t read boards, does he? DOES HE? Oh, thatâ€™s right. I met him at Comic Con. The red hair does stand out. Still, it could be a coincidence. Like Damian and Barnes. Anyway, the dude wants to see her again. Sunday maybe. He doesnâ€™t want to be alone on Valentineâ€™s Day, again. So that must be Sunday. She smiles, he kisses her, and anyone who watches this show knows that this adorable little love story is so going south. They both give each other big smiles and kiss bigger this time. She pulls away, not wanting him to think sheâ€™s that kind of girl. He tries to apologize, but she jumps him. I would call that some pent up lust.
Theyâ€™re inside in the kitchen all over each other, ripping clothes off. These guys are REALLY repressed. Then they start talking really dirty to each other. Itâ€™s always the supposed innocents that shock us the most. I love it. Then she takes a big bite out of him. Huh? He cries out in pain, looks at her bloody mouth, and is more turned on than ever. So how graphic do you want this scene to be recapped? Those of you with weak stomach just skip ahead a paragraph, for this gets really gross.
Ugh, here we go. She goes for another bite, and now blood is dripping off her chin, and he starts knawing on her arm. She desperately wants more. â€œI want you, all of you, inside me.â€ She must be a virgin, for sheâ€™s taking that clichÃ© a little too literally. Oh, his chin is dripping with a disturbing amount of blood too. Her wide open mouth goes for another chunk. He again cries out and is more turned on than ever. She pulls on a rubbery chunk of his flesh in her mouth and eats it! Can I stop here to tell Ben Edlund heâ€™s a sick bastard? Oh yeah, he knows that. I also need to stop because Iâ€™m fighting back some barf right nowâ€¦. Okay, better. He goes for his bite, blood is now everywhere and they start pulling off chunks of skin. Can I mention the squishing and crunching sound effects going on in this scene? Theyâ€™re going all out. He bites her stomach next and the camera pans to a Valentineâ€™s Day card on the refrigerator spattered with blood. Yeah, I do believe a new low was achieved. Or a high, depending on your point of view. Iâ€™m just trying to figure out how that passed the network censor. Oh yeah, The CW.
Title card. The blood seems kind of appropriate, doesnâ€™t it?
Sam is looking at the bloody postcard and heâ€™s in his G-man suit. Iâ€™ve said it once, Iâ€™ll say it again, heâ€™s too pretty for a G-man. Heâ€™s talking to the girl that found the bodies. She says there was blood everywhereâ€¦and other stuff. Iâ€™m so glad we didnâ€™t get that far. I had trouble recapping what I did! Samâ€™s funny faces back me up on that one. While packing things away she says that Alice was already dead. Itâ€™s the curse of the pink hat Iâ€™ll tell you! Sam asks if Russell wasnâ€™t. She thinks he was, but he was stillâ€¦chewing. Yuck, enough already! She doesnâ€™t understand how two people could do that, eat each other. Sam thinks thatâ€™s a good question. Oh, youâ€™re about to find out the hard way Sammy! Sam wants to know if Alice was acting erratic the last few days. Was she aggressive or hostile? No, she never drank, never swore, and was a â€œnice girl.â€ She still had her promise ring. See, she was sick! No healthy grown woman is like that. For those that missed the sly reference, Sam asks if she was a virgin. Oh yes. More funny faces from Sam. The woman doesnâ€™t know how she did it, or not do it. She wasnâ€™t right, thatâ€™s how. It was her first date in months. Itâ€™s my guess her other dates went howling for the hills later after realizing they werenâ€™t passing first base. She was so excited. â€œApparently they both were pretty excited,â€ Sam says. Once again, Sam doesnâ€™t sugarcoat.
Just in case we didnâ€™t know it was around Valentineâ€™s Day, we get to see this weekâ€™s motel room card which reminds us. I read an interview from Jerry Wanek, Head Set Designer, who said they put one of those cards in every single motel room but itâ€™s not often shown. So weâ€™re lucky this time. â€œValentineâ€™s special. Free champagne, this week only. Dial 9 for room service. Iâ€™m presuming Dean already had it. Who would turn that down? Sam comes in with a bag of fast food and drinking a drink? Thatâ€™s right, this episode is all about the strange behavior.
Dean wants to know how it went. No EMF, no sulfur, ghost possession and demonic possession out. Dean wonders what then, for things were pretty horrifying at the coronerâ€™s. They started eating and just kept going. Just in case we donâ€™t get the point, Dean gets even more graphic. â€œTheir stomachs were full, like Thanksgiving dinner full.â€ They just wonâ€™t quit, will they? Sam accepts they canâ€™t do more tonight, takes the laptop and says heâ€™ll go through some files. Dean better get going.
â€œSorry?â€ Dean asks all confused. â€œGo ahead, unleash the kraken,â€ Sam says. Hee, a Sam funny. I like those. Heâ€™ll see him tomorrow morning. Dean still doesnâ€™t get it. â€œItâ€™s Valentineâ€™s Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? What do you always call it, unattached drifter Christmas?â€ Dean isnâ€™t smiling which is too bad because I am. Instead, he goes for another beer. â€œIâ€™m just not feeling it this year.â€ Sam is confused. So he doesnâ€™t want to go to bars full of lonely women? â€œI guess not,â€ Dean says with complacency. Sam is really worried and Dean doesnâ€™t know why. â€œItâ€™s when a dog doesnâ€™t eat. Thatâ€™s when you know something is really wrong.â€ Dean doesnâ€™t appreciate Samâ€™s concern. â€œRemarkable patronizing comment. Dually noted.â€ Yeah Sam, your recent blue funks have been no picnic either. Dean wishes to get back to work. Sam gives him another look to be sure, then goes back to his laptop. So, is this the sign of a spell, or is Dean actually feeling this way? At first I thought it was the craziness going on in the town, but now Iâ€™m not so sure. Maybe the events of the last several weeks are catching up with him.