The Supernatural series finale feels like a gift I can never repay. It gave me so much. It had softness, humor, happiness, and yes, sadness.
We got to live with the Winchesters. We saw them jog. We saw them greeting the morning with their beautiful, soft dog.
We were invited into their kitchen, their bedrooms, even the never before seen laundry room. They let us live with them one last time.
They got to have fun. To be brothers. And we were there. Either with joy over pie, or being finally able to pie your brother in the face.
They took us on one last hunt. We got to see how brilliantly they are in figuring out a hunt that their father never could.
We got to see them save two little brothers and kill all the monsters. They even attached the last hunt to their first ever vampire hunt.
They also let us into their most precious moment. Their earthly goodbye.
And yes, it hurts. Tears are falling as I write.
Dean’s death was so tragic and sudden. But, it was also him dying doing what he loves with whom he loves. He died a hero, and knowing that he was.
For so long, he feared being abandoned, left alone. But with him, until the end, was his beloved baby brother.
We got to hear his goodbye, got to see him be vulnerable, his true self with all of his walls gone. It even strengthened a through line for the entire series. The love Sam and Dean have for each other. A love that not even God could break.
And it reminded me about what I feel is all too often forgotten.
Pain and sadness are not negative emotions. They can be celebrations of love. Appreciation for that which touched your heart and made you feel.
It is said that to love is to say, “I don’t mind hurting for you.”
And Sam and Dean Winchester deserve our tears, even weeks later.
We would have been sad anyway, but this gave us a way to truly grieve. The way we needed to.
Not only did we get Dean’s devastatingly beautiful goodbye, we got to see our pain reflected in Sam. Even knowing his pain exceeded our own.
Sam Winchester again invited us to live with him. To live his agony. In the Bunker that was empty of all family, and therefore no longer home.
They not only told us that it was okay to cry, but we’ll cry with you.
And, we got to see him keep fighting. He kept fighting until it was time for him to go.
We got to see the Winchester legacy in Sam’s son, Dean. The world needs a Winchester. And the young man with the anti-possession tattoo, let Sam know his fight was done.
Then we got happy endings.
Bobby who sacrificed himself for his boys way back in Season 10, is now out of Heaven’s jail and enjoying his perfect Heaven.
A Heaven that is no longer just memories, but also peace and bliss.
We got to learn of Rufus.
And we got to learn that Castiel was not suffering in the Empty, but had gotten to do what was his goal for so long ... to rebuild a better Heaven with his child he believed in, Jack.
We were given the gift of seeing Dean go first, like Dean always did. Exploring the new place to make sure it’s okay for Sam.
We also saw him enjoy being with Baby, driving a beautiful winding road.
We got our theme song that gave away the ending back in season one. In two different versions, one a celebration of the road so far, and one hauntingly beautiful, fitting for the reward at journey’s end.
And we got to see their reunion. The ultimate happy ending. They are now together forever, happy and at peace. Just as the song always promised.
Beyond the wonder that was the episode, they also gave us gifts to enjoy forever: possibilities. In not specifying who Sam had his son with, we can create our own stories. In ending at their reunion in Heaven, we can make what they do next whatever we wish. It’s a gift that will give as long as our imaginations hold. It’s amazing.
They even gave us callbacks, and the ability to look at the series with fresh eyes. We keep finding new things to hurt over, and new things to enjoy. Another gift to last a lifetime.
They gave me the gift of having my favorite episode be the last one. My favorite scene is at the very end. I’ll be forever grateful.
And then after they gave us all that, and the fifteen years prior, they took time out of their finale...
To thank us.
They made our love for them canon. And their appreciation, too.
My heart is touched in ways that words can never express.
Thus, the finale was a gift of gifts I can never repay. But I will never stop sharing my appreciation for that gift and that of the most amazing series as a whole.
- Cat Dean