Largest Review/Discussion Fansite for Supernatural and SPNFamily Shows! Plot/Character Analysis, Spoilers, Games, News, Gallery, Interviews, Fun!

Article Index

Fan/Writer #4 

SPN1520 HLC 1225

It’s funny, but in the weeks, days, hours, minutes leading up to the “Supernatural” finale, I was pretty calm about the whole thing.  This was the inevitable end, one that was six months delayed from the original plan.  I had time to process.  After all, TV shows end.  “Supernatural” had done what 99.9% of shows before hadn’t done, last an amazing 15 years.  It was a good ride and we were left with a lot of good memories.  The outpouring of love and affection for this accomplishment from the entire SPN Family was a nice way to send the show off to its final hour.  

Then the finale aired.  I was blown away and impacted far more emotionally than I ever anticipated.  After all, you don’t watch a show this long and not be emotionally invested in the plight of the characters.  They’re practically family.  I had trouble sleeping for about a week, trying to reconcile my shattered heart inside.   Hard to watch, oh yes, but this was never a show that went for the happy ending.  I knew what I was watching.  As sad as the ending was though, I felt it was the right one.  I also knew this wouldn’t be the end of the SPN Family.  I knew that fandom would carry on, much like the title of the finale suggested.  I was a bit taken back that there were many that didn’t feel that way.  

I’m sad to see the implosion of the fans online and all that goodwill that led up to the finale, but I have seen this ugliness before.  I had hoped we had grown past it, but in all retrospect it makes sense.  This is a very passionate fandom and always has been.  It’s that passion that has kept “Supernatural” on the air this long.  Something so emotionally riveting, something with such a ground breaking impact that it shook the very foundation of everyone watching, it is bound to trigger all sorts of reactions online.  After all, we’re individuals, we all deal with trauma differently.  We all have had different experiences in life with grief and loss.  Lashing out is a natural human response when feeling so much hurt.  Lashing out is a natural human response when feeling such a devastating loss. 

Instead of engaging with fans online, I’ve found myself if anything going back and reading my old fandom books.  I noticed strangely that I never got a copy of “Family Don’t End in Blood” (forgive me Lynn!).  I got my copy delivered from Amazon rather quickly and started reading.  There are amazing fan stories out there.  “Supernatural” has had a real impact on so many lives in ways it never intended.  All of the chapters are amazing in that book, but none had a bigger impact on me than the one from Jared Padalecki.  That chapter right there sums up exactly why “Supernatural” was a phenomenon like none other.  We as a family were all looking out for each other, pulling each other out of dark moments in our lives, just because that is what Sam and Dean would do.  Always keep fighting.  That is not a tagline.  It’s a way of life.    

 Will I miss “Supernatural” on my TV every week?  All depends how you look at it.  Yes and no.  Will I miss new episodes?  Not really.  In the last few seasons from a story perspective, they’ve been quite agonizing to watch.  The quality of the episodes has really dropped since the beginning when I fell in love with this smart, intricate, well acted show.  All I was left with was a well acted show, leaving me less each week to discuss plot twists with fervor.  If anything, my lashing out happened on a weekly basis there for a while, lamenting over what happened to the plots and writing.  

 I’m grateful that I was a spectator on this ride, but I always knew, no matter how engaged I was in promoting this show, that this wasn’t my story.  It belonged to others.  That’s the nature of television, no matter how enthusiastic the fans are.  As a fan I was allowed to criticize and praise, but that was the extent of my role.  It was therapeutic.  It allowed me to work out my discontent and share my joy with other fans.  Discussing “Supernatural” gave me other points of view that I didn’t catch when I saw it, which happened practically every week.  I was able to help others through their confusion too.  A lot of these discussions didn’t change my mind.  Discussing it just made me feel better.  As with many walks of life, talking through things helps.

“Supernatural” is not over for me.  There’s 327 episodes sitting in front of me, ready for viewing at any time.  There’s nothing preventing me from that continuing to be a weekly ritual.  Now that I’ve seen the end, I can watch the entire series with a new perspective, a new set of eyes.  Perhaps I’ll notice patterns that I never picked up on before, nuances in the way the story was portrayed.  Perhaps I’ll notice acting choices that used to perplex me and now they won’t.  Perhaps I’ll just have comfort in knowing that for Sam and Dean, everything turns out okay in the end.  

So how do I feel today?  Grateful.  I was part of something that has never quite happened in the history of television.  I came out with a ton of great memories, and some really spectacular meltdowns too.  Overall, I came out a much better human being.  That’s better than all the bad plots that were thrown our way through the years.  That’s better than one emotionally wrecking episode that may not have gone the way some fans wanted.  I have found my peace.  I hope one day you all will as well.  

- Alice Jester