Dear Sam and Dean, April 30, 2013
You donâ€™t know me, but I really feel the need to write to both of you. I know this canâ€™t replace the support and guidance you would seek from Bobby, but there are some things you still need to hear. A few friends and I have been silently observing what you have been going through this year, and we know what you will be facing in the next few weeks. We know you are worried about Castiel. Something is wrong with your dear friend but he wonâ€™t, or canâ€™t, let you help him. He isnâ€™t answering your prayers and you know he is in trouble. He has the Angel Tablet but what it does and why he was looking for it are mysteries. Youâ€™ve met Naomi, and you know you canâ€™t trust her, but she saved Bobbyâ€™s soul. How is she involved in all this? Above all, you are worried about Kevin. That mixed-up, scared, incredibly powerful kid stashed his part of the Demon Tabletâ€¦and you have to find them both before Crowley finds them. Kevin is the key. He can help you complete what might be the most important hunt of your livesâ€¦the mission to which you have irrevocably dedicated yourselves. The target that consumes every waking thought and haunts your dreams at night. Closing the gates of hell. The third trial.
Dean, it must be so hard to feel helpless. You didnâ€™t want Sam to have to go through this. You wanted it to be you. You became such a fierce hunter in that year of endless battles in Purgatory. You keep asking yourself why you couldnâ€™t be the one to face this fight. Why did it have to be your little brother? You donâ€™t mind being a hunter. In fact, if Purgatory taught you anything it was that you are good at hunting. Itâ€™s who you are. Itâ€™s who youâ€™ve been your whole life. But Sammy wanted something different and you canâ€™t give that to him. No matter how many times he tries to get out of hunting, somehow he gets pulled back in. All you have wanted your whole life is to protect him. You would trade places with him in a second. That would be easier than being powerless to stop what these trials are doing to him. Even with all that you have been through, this, sitting by watching him grow weaker every day, this is harder than any hunt, than any sacrifice. This goes against every fiber of your being, yet this is what is being asked of you. You would lay down your life to save him, without a second thought and without a single regret, yet once again, you have to let him go. You donâ€™t want to even think about losing him again. So all you can do is support him, help him, protect himâ€¦.carry himâ€¦and never give up on him. Dean, please believe that this is the most important thing you can possibly do. Your love and dedication to your brother, your unwavering belief in him, your strength and courage are keeping him going. Donâ€™t you understand that it was your love, your unbreakable bond, your vow to never, ever leave him alone that gave him the strength to crush Lucifer when both heaven and hell were poised to end everything you hold dear? Dean, you stayed at Samâ€™s side and gave him the power he needed to win, and you can do it again. You will do it again.
Sam, we know that you are silently worried about being strong enough to complete the last trial. It is very hard for you to admit that to yourself, and even harder to admit it to your brother. You are forcing yourself to believe that it is possible to survive it all, but you are facing challenges that God himself created. You have never felt worthy of anyoneâ€™s faith in you. You know you have let people down before. Youâ€™ve been beaten down so many times â€“ by demon blood, by Lucifer, your whole life being manipulated to serve hell. There is so much at stake here and you secretly doubt yourself yet again. Last year you nearly escaped all this. You learned that a normal life is possible, but just as you were reaching out to grab happiness, it was snatched from your hands. So you have recommitted yourself to do this one last thing. You want to be strong enough to end the suffering that demons have caused in the world. You keep telling yourself that you can do this. You want to do this, for yourself, for your parents, to give good a fighting chance in the worldâ€¦and for Dean. He was devastated that you didnâ€™t look for him while he was in Purgatory and, justified or not, you donâ€™t want to let him down again. He is counting on you to do this. You feel the weight of the world crushing down on your shoulders once again and you hope, you pray, you are worthy. Sam, please believe that youâ€™ve already given Dean, and us, everything. It wasnâ€™t an accident or good luck or fate that you were able to save the world before. It was your heroic courage and inner strength to keep going no matter what the odds. It was your endless willingness to sacrifice yourself for others. Sam, we are so sorry that you have to go through this again. Defeating Lucifer should be enough for one lifetime, but you can do this. When Dean hugged you (and didnâ€™t bust you for leaving the bunker!), he was telling you that he knows you can do this. Youâ€™ve asked him so many times to believe in you. When you look across the room at him now, know that he finally understands and does believe in you. You have a goodness inside of you that canâ€™t be defeated. It is your core. It is your weapon. Dean wonâ€™t leave your side. We wonâ€™t leave your side. Charlie said it best, â€œYou know you are going to be OK, right?â€ Now you just have to believe it yourself.
Sam and Dean, if you can still believe in anything, believe that there is nothing you canâ€™t do if you stick together. You have said those words to each other before but only now are you really starting to accept it, to understand it. Our hearts have broken for you when you have fought with each other, when you confide in other people instead of each other, when you hurt each other, when you donâ€™t listen. You have both lost the love of your life, and you have both lost friends (Dean, donâ€™t give up on Benny yet). Finally, finally, though, you are working together again. You are family and that will get you both through this.
No, we havenâ€™t met and probably never will, but we know what youâ€™ve already sacrificed. More will be required of you in the next few weeks but we will be there with you ever step of the way.
With sincere thanks for all you have already done,
Someone who will always have your back.
Friends, if you could write to Sam and Dean, what would you say to them to help them face the third trial? What do you want to say to them? Feel free to rewrite, add paragraphs or jot a simple P.S. to my letter, or just sign your name to show our boys your love, thanks and support. We wait together, breathless, with hearts pounding, to see what unfolds in the next three weeks.