Sam: Should we tell her what Dad does to her husband in a few years?

Dean: You saw that in your dream?

x

Dean: Sam, it's a good news/bad news/and real bad news deal!

Sam: What's the good news?

Dean: This 5 lb. magical artifact that Bela brought will completely cure both of us of our ghost sickness when we consume it.

Sam: And the bad news is....?

Bela: It will only cost you two $100,000.

Sam: And the real bad news is?

Dean: It's Crowley's stool sample.

Dean: "So Dream Root comes in pill form now? That's con-"

Bella: "Not Dream Root. Viagra."

Dean: "Viagra? Oh sweet heart I don't do-"

Sam: *Gulps* I think we're gonna need it Dean!"

Dean to Sam: "She is claiming that the myth arc of Season Eleven is inside this jar?"

Bella: "Absolutely. The Spirit Board led me to it."

Sam: "Where are you off to now?"

Bella: "Oak Island to see a man about some treasure!"

Bella: "I'm here for our angry sex!"

Sam: "Wha-?"

Dean: "Sorry Sammy. Playtime for adults. You're not invited!"

Bella: "The Hell you say. It's bangers and mash time boys!"

Dean: "I'm not sure whether to drink it, eat it or rub it all over my body..."

Bella: "All in good time. We British are nothing if not patient!"

Sam: *To himself*. "Please tell me this is not still my dream..."

*Front door swings open*

Brad Pitt: "Hi guys!"

Sam: "Crap!"

Dean: "What's this?"

Bela: "It's a little cheese to go with the whine."

Dean: "Wine?"

Bela: "No, whine. For the next time Sam gets shot!"

Sam: "Hey!"

Sam: "No Dean. Not the locusts from that cops melon!"

Dean: "Spoilsport!"

*Whoosh from feathered wings*

Cas: "Did somebody say locusts?"

x

Bela: [Hands jar to Dean] I'm ovulating and want a baby. You two are obviously genetically superior, ergo my visit.

Sam: [Nervously] Hiyo blah, I mean, hi Bela. What's in the jar, Dean?

Dean: Blue steel and I'm not talking about a modeling pose. It's Viagra - industrial strength, Sam

Bela: Only if you need it, guys. I'm sure you'll do just fine, but you're both approaching middle age.

Sam and Dean: [Incredulously staring at Bela]

Bela: Lights on, lights off - your choice. Who's first or do you wanna make a pig pile?

Sam and Dean: Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink !

x

Dean: "A urine sample for a spell?"

Bela: "Not that kind of sample..."

Dean: "Did you at least bring porno mags?"

Bela: "You won't be needing them."

Sam: *Pinches himself to make sure he's awake*

Dean - So it said Do NOT ADD Water! Do NOT Feed after Midnight ! and Do Not expose to Sunlight !
Sam - You added water didn't you ?
Dean- Well yeah , I didnt think it would turn into that ! (pointing to Bela)

Dean - So this stuff is supposed to melt witches ..
Bella- Oh please Dean .. who are you kidding ? You wouldn't dare waste that on little ole me .
Sam- Oh he would , he would ..

Sam - Dean I think its Bela's way of saying she is sorry
Bela - yes it is Sam .. its my great grandmothers recipe for mince meat pie.
Dean- Pie ! Apology accepted .

Dean - Your gonna need a barrel of this if your trying to look presentable ...
Bela - Haha Dean, your wicked retorts are so funny .

Bela - So a voodoo priestess gave me this with explicit instructions to deliver it to you , Dean.
Dean- What is it ?
Bela - oh a little something to help with that ego of yours ..

x

Bela: I've given my life over to piety and helping others.

Dean: Every time a dime goes into Bela's charity jar, an angel gets its wings.

Sam: ....and God bless us everyone.

x

-

Dean: A cure for bowed legs !?

Bela: It's a freebie. Consider it a peace offering.

Dean: I don't have bowed legs. Sam, do I have bowed legs?

Sam: Take Bela up on her offer, Dean. I'm tired of watching you waddle around like a chimpanzee.

Bela: Your legs will straighten up just fine but I can't do anything for your "tsking", Dean.

Dean: "Tsking" ?

Bela: Yeah, you've been doing it for some time, now. It's a clicking noise you make to add emphasis to what you're saying or to draw attention to yourself.

Dean: So I'm a stumbling monkey who makes clicking noises, is that what I'm hearing from you two?

Sam: I've researched it, Dean. They say "tsking" is a mannerism or affectation and it 's under conscious control. You can stop doing it if you want to.

Dean: Oh, good grief.....is this some kind of intervention....or what ?

-