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 Open Couch to Exile on Main Street

Or

It runs in the family! 
  

This seems to be what a passionate relationship with a tv-show must be like - you wait and you wait for the new season to come around, and then you sit there, spellbound, hardly breathing. 

I've had my heart broken before. In real life by twists of fate, by bad choices I made or by falling for the wrong guy. In the fantasy world of literature and movies it happened, too.  I cried my eyes out over Imitation of Life and Legends of the Fall, and hardly survived Anna Karenina. But usually it doesn't happen too often.  I have a tight grip on reality. Or, I try to have!
  
This show, however, is an exception that proves me wrong. Repeatedly. I felt the familiar cracking inside my chest several times since I began watching this show, and this new episode demonstrated to me - again - that Supernatural will continue to do so. So, it will remain a love-hate relationship of loving the characters, the story, the exploits, hating the pain that barely ever ceases to torture these guys we have enclosed in our souls. Five years and counting. I love my life.
 
There is no The Road So Far montage this time - just a few glimpses of Swan Song, perhaps to say: "don't enter if you haven't watched the show so far" or to invite newbies and not confuse them with too much information. But we get a fabulous new title card - shattering glass (to me it looked like ice or a mirror and I love the idea of hell being a cold place, very Dante and Milton). Yes, this is a whole new show. And yet it is exactly what we have loved since it first graced our screens: two brothers in a relationship that is filled with pain, angst, loss, in short: glorious drama.
  
 
  
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Sam's words before he disappeared in the deep pit of hell echo in Dean's dreams -  perhaps almost every night, and as he wakes up (shortly before the alarm clock hits off) his eyes speak of his troubled mind. A year has passed, but it doesn't appear as if Dean's wounds have healed. Not by far. Perhaps he's found a little peace, living his "normal, apple pie life" -  cooking breakfast, working, showing little Ben the ropes of fixing a car, finding tenderness with Lisa, barbecuing - we see the similarities of Dean using a saw on wood and on vampires, cracking open some wall or a coffin (and I wouldn't be surprised if Dean experienced those montaged pictures himself, memories sneaking up every time he closes the trunk, goes through his tools, opens a beer bottle, perhaps we were given a glimpse of Dean's mind in that sequence).
 
 
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And the "practically respectable" Dean is unable to relax. Looking cosy on the outside in his sweatpants and t-shirt, he still drinks a tad too much and keeps checking the house. He certainly is not a Beautiful Loser, as the Bob Seger song we get indicates, but he is without doubt beautiful and lost. Like a fish stranded on land. The old instincts are hard to shed, aren't they, Dean? He still is a protector. Holy water and gun under the bed. Devil's trap beneath the front door carpet. Lisa could have given him peace of mind, had he been able to let that happen, but he probably wasn't capable of that - we learn later that he assembled a mountain of books trying to find a way to free Sam. His mind was never entirely free. For moments perchance, when he played with Ben, found understanding with Lisa, got money for work. But his past was his present, too.
 
His smile hardly ever reaches his eyes. Sitting in a bar with nice Sid, he's acting. Dean is playing the role of the "husband", the inconspicuous neighbour, the guy who used to work in pest control. Telling the truth without actually telling it. Masterly, Dean. And so lonely. 
 
As the waitress passes him the bill with her phone number on it, he is not aware that he was just touched and poisoned by a Djinn (later, as we meet the Djinns I noticed I've seen that girl before, but only as I re-watched the episode I recognized her in this early scene)  Chicks might dig the unavailable guys but this Dean isn't interested. He is monogamous. The flirty guy from the early seasons is gone indeed. He's tired, on his way home when a scream attracts his attention and leads him to a hotel in renovation (DJ Sam? Nice one, Sera Gamble!). He follows scratches and blood, quite nervous (and why not, he hasn't had much training lately but still enough experience to impersonate successfully a police officer when checking with police later on). And is led by scratches to a shed the following day and almost shoots a Yorkie (I wouldn't have been surprised if it had been the one from Yellow Fever - this episode already (after ten minutes) feels like a surreal journey. Like a mirror in which I find What Is And What Should Never Be in more ways than just the Djinn. I'll get to that in a moment.

Comments  

Sablegreen
# Sablegreen 2010-09-27 13:16
Glad you liked the episode Jas...It was great having the brothers back on the screen after so many weeks. I liked it too. We all wanted Dean to go with Sam, but Dean needs someone to 'need' him and someone to protect. Sam lost that, and who knows if he will be lucky enough to get it back. They never do well when apart, as each completes the other, so until they are 'back', the show loses all the chemistry it had. It was very apparently lacking in this episode. Granted... that is exactly what they wanted.

Hopefully the writers will get them back before to many episodes have passed.
AndreaW
# AndreaW 2010-09-27 13:43
Hi Jas

I love your reviews. It's always a pleasure to read your open coaches. By the way, it's a pity that darling Sammy can't lie down on you coach. He badly needs it and Im' sure you would take very good care of him. ;-)

I'm glad you liked the season opener as much a I did. People keep saying it was awkward and so it was. But I think it was meant to be awkward. I felt it myself but at the same time it got me very excited with what this season has in store for us.

Regarding Sam's Monalisa smile, acording to producers this is a season of mysteries; nothing is what it seems and everyone has ulterior motives behind their actions. I think Sam's enigmatic smile is meant to do what it did: to introduce doubt. As for myself, I only read sadness in it. But that's me.
Yirabah
# Yirabah 2010-09-27 14:31
Thanks Jas, I was looking forward to your article and your professional-vi ew on it all.

Somehow after watching it the first time I kind of felt a little empty inside. Maybe after that long hellatus I just expected to much. But just like Sablegreen said I miss the brotherly love.

While reading your article a few things came to mind.

First: In the pilot Dean tells Sam: "Dude I am 26 years old" We had five season plus one year between season 5 and 6 ergo Dean should be by now 32. But Bobby says: "yeah , a woman and a kid and not getting your guts ripped out at age thirty". To my counting Dean is past that already. (Somebody please correct me if I am wrong)

Second: I don't think Samuell wanted to take the djinn with him secretly. I believe Sam knew that they would take at least one djinn back with them. It just so happens that Dean needed help and Samuell knew that Dean rather be safed by Sam than one of the Campells plus Sam would prefer to save his brother himself.

Third: When Dean offers Sam the keys to the baby he pulls them out of his pockets. The question here is: Did he carry them always around with him during the whole year even though she was under a tarp. And if so what is your professional mind making of that?

Resume for me of this ep: I want the brothers back together again!!!! On the other hand I don't want Dean to leave Lisa and Ben. Though I am here in between a rock and a hard place. Just can't make my mind up.
Eva aka Pinkfox
# Eva aka Pinkfox 2010-09-27 14:53
I loved what you wrote about what is going with Dean and Sam mentally. I saw many of the same things, but you managed to pull it together in a way that I couldn't... Thanks for helping to put me my own puzzle pieces into place....
Bevie
# Bevie 2010-09-27 14:57
That was great Jas. You and I are alike in one way, that is this show can crack your heart in two like it does mine. My heart broke for Dean this episode twice, with Sammy and Bobby. I couldn't understand how those two could let poor Dean suffer the torment of thinking his beloved little brother was in hell for a whole year. I think Dean could use a little time on your couch because of that, as well as Sammy and his emotional withdrawal problems.

Sam seemed emotionless to me this episode, but the Campbells (not taking to them) seem an emotionless bunch as well. Very unappealing. Perhaps spending a year with that group is not doing Sam any favours. I particularly was hurt by Sam's declaration that he would not have gone to the neighbour's rescue as Dean did. Then I remembered way back in season 4, in 'Rapture', his disassociation with any empathy whatsoever when crosswiring the car for Mrs.Jimmy and Clair. "Here's your car" or something to that effect without explaining about the hot wiring or even looking at them. So cold!

Anyway, as I posted in Alice's review, I so do long for the day when we can get back the chemistry between these brothers. The chemistry that made me become a fanatical fan of this show. That unspoken love that just jumped off the screen and warmed my heart and made me love these two boys like never before have I loved a fictional character. Jensen and Jared made these two characters people I never want to be without! Even now, with that chemistry missing. :sad:

Have I mentioned before that I thoroughly LOVE this show? ;-)
elle2
# elle2 2010-09-27 16:20
Jas,

Great Open Couch.

Like you I'm really excited about this new maturity we're seeing. Honestly, the boys, as in characters, have been maturing all along, it's just that with the injection of a whole year, the changes are shockingly obvious. Thank you, Sera Gamble, for going this route. It makes it almost a whole new show and yet, I know the crux is still family.

Like AndreaW and others have said, this was awkward, uneasy, edge of your seat 'cause I'm not sure what's happening and to me it made it so much more special. I have no idea where they're going and after a season of knowing the ultimate battle was going to be with Lucifer and that of course somehow they were going to win, I'm liking this newer, uneasy, awkward, I-have-no-idea- where-we're-goi ng vibe.

Bring it!!
CitizenKane2
# CitizenKane2 2010-09-27 22:13
Thank you, Jas. I also enjoyed reading your (also) insightful review of 6.01. :-)
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-09-28 04:42
Sablegreen, AndreaW, Yirabah, Eva aka Pinkfox, Bevie, Elle2, CitizenKane2 - thank you so much for commenting!

Sablegreen, dear, I believe the brothers will come back together. It is an asset the show can't allow to get lost, true. I also think that their relationship will be another one. Matured, wounded, yet loving. Grown up and real. I always loved that about this show. They experience cruelties and are changed by them. But, also, I think we won't lose the core of what we loved about the brothers. Have faith.

AndreaW, it that's only you, add me to it. That smile didn't reach Sam's eyes. It was a front to hold the raw emotion in. From what we know about the character, that seems utterly logical. And, yes, I would indeed take good care of Sammy ;-)... sigh...

Yirabah, I guess the emptiness you felt after watching it the first time was the depression that coloured the whole episode grey. It might just have slipped from the tv screen into your mind... no worries there.

About the keys to the Impala... since we don't see explicitly how Dean gets them to give them to Sam (and he has them in his pocket, too, as he rushes to her in that shed to get his hunting tools), he probably carries them with him at all times.
I would assume that for one those keys give him some kind of inner hold, the home of so many years, memories of what they went through together and most of all - of Sam. There are no pictures of Sam around the house (something most grieving people have, pics of their lost ones). My guess is that the keys to the car fulfil that role pictures or clothes etc would normally do - provide the grieving with something touchable to find something familiar. Does that help you?

I'm afraid, we will lose Lisa and Ben within this show. My only hope is that they won't kill them off. I would love it best, if LIsa made the decision to leave instead of some demon devouring her. That, at least, would not add another layer of guilt to Dean's already torn conscience.

Eva, thank you. I am honoured to have been able to provide some assistance with that!

Bevie, you're so right - my couch is open to Dean as well, of course (though I would have trouble concentrating, I guess, as he has never looked better...oops.. .). I felt a lot for him, and I'm sorry if that didn't come across.

The Campbells - if they are indeed so emotionless it might suit Sam, as he obviously tries to keep his emotions in. It might be helpful to him in that regard. No one asking about how it felt down there.

Please, by all means, keep mentioning how much you love the show. I agree in all points with your praise of the show and the leads.

Elle2, I, too, love the curiosity it left us with - where is this going? What will happen? We don't have the hints of a story arc anymore, as we used to while the Apocalypse was pending. This is as new as the first season. And I love it. So, let's love it together. Oh, yes, bring it on!

CitizenKane2, always a joy to me if I can make you enjoy what I have. Thanks.

Folks, thank you so much for your elaborate opinions. This is the greatest rewards we, as writers to this site, get.
Be well and happy, Jas
Anonymous
# Anonymous 2010-09-28 10:08
When I saw Sam I recalled Linkin Park's Robot Boy . It looked like he didn't actively participate in any part of the hunt. It was like agreeing to what others said but not suggesting anything himself. Complete 180....
boobula
# boobula 2010-09-28 12:09
Jas, your insights are amazing as usual. I realize why I love your writing so much. My bestest friend is also a therapist. As I read your thoughts I hear her voice. I know weird, but somehow very comforting. She is my friend always, even when I get in my strange anti-social moods and blow everyone off for weeks. She has stuck by me and given me space when I needed it and dragged me out when I didn't know I needed it, but did. Hey, and free sessions over coffee win win. The street runs both way for us though. One Christmas she was in meltdown mode, while trying to finish up her doctorate. She wasn't letting anyone in her house. And poof there I was at her door. "Ok you can come in for a minute" turned into 6 hours. But enough of that.

Exile on Main St.... Where to begin. Well, I watched the episode with my favorite aunt. She is a fan of the show, but the regular kind. Not a super-fan, obsessive, possessive and protective like many of us. We watch new episodes together, and she will watch the repeats if I am there. She likes more than she dislikes, but monster-of-the- week and stand alones are her favorites. This did not make that list. Which of course sent my head spinning in a thousand different directions.

I re-watched the episode alone and decided to give myself some time to marinate. Three days to be exact. So for three days I avoided theWFB, recaps, reviews, and anything that may contain comments, critiques, and criticisms. Now I do have job where I work weekends, so it's not like I just sat around and ruminated for three days.

I am a Deangirl and have been from the jump. I have my reasons. But I love Sam too. And the riff between them causes me much distress. I really liked the episode, but I was having a bit of a problem with it and I couldn't figure out why. Monday night when I watched it for the 3rd time, I just started to cry. I happened during the opening montage, when Dean got in bed with Lisa, she cuddled up next to him and under the bed is a shotgun and holy water. "You just don’t need it all". It finally hit me. My heart is broken. I was crying for Dean, Sam, Lisa, Ben, and Bobby. But I was also crying for myself and all the people who have gone from this life to the next. I was crying for my husband, gone almost 4 1/2 years; my grandma, gone 4 years; my Mom, gone 10 months. Along with everyone else I have loved who have moved on to their next adventure. Then there is my ex, with whom I have remained in contact since our split 7 months ago, via phone and text messages. I still regard him as a friend. He stopped in at my job the day of the season premier. He looked really bad. His health has deteriorated greatly since I last saw him. Our break-up was bizarre to me. Things were awesome and in about 2 weeks it all went to hell. Looking back now, I believe he found out he was ill and didn't want to put me thru again what I went thru with my husbands illness.

I understand his thought process, but that doesn't mean I'm not pissed. I should have been a part of the decisions and not had it made for me. I get that he was trying to protect me, but we all know how well that turns out. He knows me well enough to know I would have never left. Hmmm... Sounds kinda like a certain Winchester we know.

I understand why Sam and Bobby didn't tell Dean that Sam was back. I also completely feel how crushed Dean is. The people who care the most can't always see what they are doing to us and vise verse.

So the pacing may have been a bit off, more questions have been created than answered, Cass is still MIA for the moment. The boys are different, but a year apart would do that to them. And I must say maturity really does look good on them. Bobby included.

What Sam has become scares and saddens me. But I have faith. Dean's catch 22. Staying with Lisa and Ben to protect them and leaving with Sam to help him, breaks my heart. But I have faith.

In the end, our show is back and I couldn't be happier. It makes me think, it makes me laugh, it makes me cry. It gives me hope and a vehicle with which to deal with the trauma that can be real life. And it gave me all of you here in our Supernatural family. The episode may not have been the best ever. But it makes it near the top of my personal favorites list.

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes, my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

I wouldn't have missed the dance for anything! And I for one and gonna keep dancing til the very end!
Jeannine
# Jeannine 2010-09-28 14:52
Oh Jas, you always put into perfect words exactly how I feel about these episodes. Once again, a wonderful job!

I've often told my friends I'm not a Dean-girl or a Sam-girl though I do tend to favor one or the other depending on the moment. Right now, I'm liking the new badboy Sam. It's not what he says or his facial expressions (or lack therein). It's his body language, the way he sits or stands or even walks that just exudes confidence. Gone is the awkward young man we met in Season 1 who hunched his shoulders to look smaller. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all.

Oh I agree completely that underneath that shell is a shattered man barely holding himself together and my heart breaks at the thought of it. But I also see the strength too.

As for Dean, I am so glad he's been with Lisa. She has been so good for him. He may not realize it, but a great deal of the darkness that was in his heart seems gone now. Sure he doesn't seem happy, but he's no longer suicidal either.

So I mentioned this before when we were giving our comments about the ep, I spotted Sam's Dodge Charger immediately. That car just makes me droolly and Sam's is perfection. Exactly the way I would want one, if I could ever afford it. ::sigh::: To dream of being independently wealthy someday.

I can't complain much about this ep as season premiers go. It provided everything needed: reveals and mystery to get you to come back for more. Giving glimpses into the main characters and hinting at the people they've become in that year but making you want to know what happened that got them to this point. I personally am looking forward to seeing where this new storyline is going to go.
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-09-28 16:41
Hi,anonymous, boobula and Jeannine!

It might be that Sam appeared like that, Anonymous. Perhaps he learned that listening closely to those 'strange' Campbells is better than anything else. Perhaps he doesn't trust them entirely, either.

boobula, dear, I don't think that your friend acts so caringly because she is a therapist. I think she does it simply because she loves you... I've met therapists who were so different and cold.. I hope I will never be... I think we just have those instincts for our friends, the people close to our heart...

I hear you - I know how it feels to lose almost everyone to illness or whatever twist of fate. I have lived there for quite a while, and there are moments when I think that a heart never entirely heals.

I thank you so much for telling me/us this about you - In my second re-watch I started crying in that scene where LIsa snuggles up to Dean and kisses his hand, so tenderly. That brought up memories for me, too. I am not surprised anymore that this show does that.

The motives of people who make decisions for us or without our knowledge are so often in the dark. I don't really know how I would deal with it. But sometimes, I believe, being protected in that manner must not be a bad thing. After all, it is also a face of love, isn't it?

And, yes, the show is inspiring. Life is painful, traumatizing to so many of us. I am happy and honoured that our site has given you a place to come to to enjoy, ramble, share or simply drool...

Jeannine, I love that you saw the strength in Sam, too. He is certainly more aware of who he is and of what he is capable of (which might also scare him out of his wits, at times, I reckon)

And, yes, I totally dig the Batmobile, as well. Didn't know about that car (ignorant European here, not familiar with most US cars...). I hope something great happens to you someday and that car will find a home in your garage!

Thank you so much, everyone, for your comments. You humble me. Love, Jas
Julie
# Julie 2010-09-29 11:14
You already know where I stand about all this , on the same page as you !
I can see why some people felt unhappy with this first one but I certainly didnt at all, to me it is just the beginning - the set up for all that is to follow and Oh how all that is to follow scares me .
There were so many unanswered questions, resentments and issues which at some point will have to be faced and we just know that once again it`s going to be hard but fascinating to watch.
I worry about your boy as there`s a lot there for you to work on at the moment I think. He really needs his space on the couch at the moment.
But you know I am still angry with Bobby ( who thought I`d ever say that!) To leave my boy suffering for a year in a pit of grief. That`s a grievance that still has to be addressed .
Other major issues - Campbells, as I have said before, dont trust them as far as I could throw them - any of them - but grandpa is creepy too
And please dont let them kill Lisa and Ben, that would just be too much.
I will just resevre my place and hang on for grim death, we are going to be very busy here I think over the next few weeks. Glad to have such good company .
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-09-29 16:19
Julie, my dear, thank you so much for commenting here! This is what we writers kinda live for, so thanks for feeding me!

I sometimes wish, sentimental-rom antic-silly girl that I am, that Sam would indeed settle in on my couch and let me take care of him. Ah, well, talk about nonsense. I hope he will get his crying time some day in the show and someone will be there to hold him when that happens.Same goes for Dean. He will need care, too. The Winchesters are too often alone in their sadnesses. That's a place too lonely to bear.

Love, Jas
Ardeospina
# Ardeospina 2010-09-29 20:42
Jas, yay for the couch being open again! I really enjoyed your review. I think this season is going to be a treasure trove of angst and pain for you to analyze, and I can't wait to read all about it.

I'm glad you liked Lisa as much as I did! She's perfect for Dean and where he's at emotionally right now. She knows exactly when to be understanding and when to not put up with any of Dean's crap! I'll be super sad if anything happens to her or Ben.

Sam is just so broken right now, too. It's painful to see him like that, like there's no spark of life in his eyes. He's just going through the motions. I'd almost rather have angry Sam back because at least that was something.

And Dean. Oh, Dean! I worry that he's never going to be truly happy no matter what he does because he just doesn't know what that is, what it means. I don't think he's been truly happy since he was 4, and who can remember how they felt at that age?

Lastly, one minor thing, but when Lisa was on the ceiling burning up, she was saying "It's ALL your fault" not "It's NOT your fault," which is so much worse. Dean's nightmare scenario indeed.

I'm hopping off the couch until next week.

Flamey
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-09-30 03:35
Flamey, dear, how could this place not open now that our beloved Winchesters are suffering again, and we with them...?

I share your worries concerning Lisa and Ben. They are just sweet, good people, loving, caring, Dean needs that so much. That's what I meant, Flamey, he has forgotten what happy means, I could even imagine him being scared out of his wits at the mere thought of it because he might be afraid that if he allowed himself to be happy, he'd lose it again in a second.

What LIsa says to him on the ceiling -I went through it several times to hear her, but it comes across as Not You Fault. Perhaps the internet site I downloaded it from played some tricks on the audio, because I have had trouble understanding some passages throughout the episode. I trust you here. Since you close-captured it, I'd say, you are my expert :-)!

See you here next week, love Jas
Valerie
# Valerie 2010-10-02 20:57
Hi Jasminka
I'm sure you know by now but just in case you don't, Sam hugged Dean back. I don't know why it was not shown but you can see it here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfQk4DgYOBg
Evelyn
# Evelyn 2010-10-10 22:25
Great article Jas. Always love to read what you have to say. I want to make comments on two points.

1.) Why didn't Sam and Bobby tell Dean that Sam was back. This is a big stickler for me. I understand that they didn't tell Dean out of their love for him. Bobby not wanting to because he was happy that Dean got out of the hunters' life and had a family and normal life. Sam wanting not to tell Dean because he was happy that Dean was finally able to experience the family life that he knew Dean longed for deep down. But yet, Dean, while content at times, was miserable under the surface because he knew of the tortures that his brother was experiencing in Hell. How can anyone find peace while knowing what is happening to the one person you love most in the world. While I understand Sam's and Bobby's intentions, it doesn't sit right with me. All last year the brothers kept harping on Team Free Will and how they weren't going to allow the angels to get them to be Lucifer and Michael's vessels because they felt that they should have the option to choose for themselves what they will or won't do with their lives. The same philosophy should be in play here. Sam says that he didn't tell Dean that he was back because he knew that Dean would come right back and start hunting with him. I counter that and say, "how the heck do you know that that is what Dean would have actually done!" If he knew his Sammy was back and no longer being tortured in hell then he would be allowed to let go of that angst and concentrate more fully on his life with Lisa and Ben. I think there would have been a very real chance that he would have chosen to stay with Lisa and Ben. But we will never know because Sam (and Bobby) took that choice away from him.

When you talked about it was doubtful Sam would have been able to survive had he gone straight to Dean and that he needed to come to terms with his existence, his storm inside - I can buy that reasoning a lot more for his purpose of staying away from Dean. But I still think, to put Dean's mind at ease, they should have at least told Dean. Sam, could then have told Dean he needs some time alone and maybe Dean would have obliged him that. But to let a loved one continue on in such agony and pain because of his thoughts about what is happening to Sam in hell, is just inexcusable to me. Bobby and Sam should have told Dean, period, end of discussion.

2.) When you talked about Dean and the pain that is in his soul. Although he may have found some peace with Lisa, I would guess that the depression and PTSD that he was experiencing all through S4 and S5 was still very much a part of his life during that year without Sam. Something like that does not suddenly diminish and go away. It takes work, long hard work to get past the issues surrounding the pain. So when you say that "Dean has forgotten how to be happy and that deep down in his psyche his misery is another factor that he can count on, and that he knows his pain," this all rang so true to me.

When you are living in a depressed state, your pain, whatever kind it is, is a constant companion. You live, breathe, eat this pain. It becomes an old, familiar friend. You do "count" on it to always be there. And you kind of expect it to be there. So when there are times that it may not be there, life feels kind of foreign or strange and you don't quite know what to do. So, a lot of the times, you want that familiar pain, that old friend to come back - you miss it in a sense. I am sure that Dean has forgotten what it is like to be happy, to feel that inner peace. Although he longs for it and wishes for it, the times that he may have experienced a little slice of it, it was like a foreign object in your eye, you wanted to get rid of it. You only want to have the old familiar things around you. Dean needs to realize this, and until he realizes that he CAN let go of this pain, that he doesn't need to hold onto it anymore as that "factor he can count on," that there is something better out there for him, if he would just let it go, and by letting go, I mean just saying sayonara, in your mind talking to the pain and letting it go. It's as simple and hard as that. Until he does this, he won't be able to start truly healing and begin to find the true happiness and peace that he so longs for. I think with Sam being back, he has a chance at that. But now that he is hunting again, all bets are off. That's another reason why I think it would have been better for Sam and Bobby to tell Dean that Sam was alive earlier than they did. It would have allowed Dean time and opportunity to put aside some of this pain and with the help of a good woman in Lisa, he could have made great strides in completely healing his soul from the torment and pain that has been his constant companion for far too long. I know I lived with my pain for far too long and had I the love and support of a wonderful companion, I might have been able to snap back sooner than I did. But I ended up doing the hard work on my own, with some support from friends, and what little my parents could give me, but I did make it out and I know that Dean can as well. I just hope that now that he is back in the hunters' life, he can find a way to let go of his melancholy and find a little peace.
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-10-11 15:39
Valerie and Evelyn, thank you for commenting, ladies!

Valerie, thanks for this link. I have seen it by now, true, but chances were I had missed out on it as I haven't the time to roam the internet for scenes like this, and I'm very grateful when someone like you takes the effort and time to point it out to me. I'm happy that Sam hugs Dean back. That's the only thing that would feel RIGHT to me, despite all the reasons not to.

Evelyn, I understand what you mean. Thank you again for your trust of sharing some private thoughts. I understand your reason for not accepting Sam's choice of not telling Dean that he was alive. And you're absolutely entitled to think it inexcusable! My role is more that of an advocatus diaboli, and having once been in a not-quite-simil ar situation where I thought only to protect my loved oned from some terrible news, I can relate to the choice Sam made here.
I trust we will learn why he chose that path instead of telling Dean and helping him out of his misery. It was a cruel decision. But I still believe, Sam did not do it out of malice but of mere protective reasons, just like Bobby. I think were I in Dean's place, I could give them a damn good thrashing, but I also relate to the other side.

HOwever, it's not okay, in general, to make such an important decision FOR someone else. Then again, under extreme circumstances people perform the strangest things.

It's true what you say about Dean. That he has to let go of his pain. But perhaps for now this might just be the only real familiar thing to him, as his world, again, is turned upside down.
I doubt that he let Lisa completely in. And I think that would be vital to receive the healing energy a loving relationship can provide. He is still on guard, never relaxed, not even in his sleep or in bed with the woman he shared his life with...

was this real life, Dean might perhaps crawl back into the light, just as you did. But this is Supernatural. Famed for writers that love to torture their characters. I hope they won't break Dean's tender soul yet again. It provides great drama, but I would love to see both Winchesters at peace, at least for a while.

thank you! you elaborate thoughts humble me. Jas
Evelyn
# Evelyn 2010-10-11 23:15
Thanks Jas, I appreciate your feedback. And I do believe that Sam and Bobby kept Dean in the dark out of their deep love for him and not out of malice. I understand their choice. I have been on both sides of that coin and unfortunately, either way you shake it out, parties end up being hurt, angry and confused. No one wins, which is unfortunate. My biggest irritation here is that they took a choice out of Dean's hands, and being that they were so gun ho 'Team Free Will' last year, they took the choice out of Dean's hands as to whether or not he would go back to hunting once he learned of Sam's resurrection. They assumed that Dean would go back to the hunters' life, but how can they be so sure of that? But yet, I do understand their position.

And it is unfortunate that he hasn't let Lisa completely in. I agree with you, he let her in part of the way, but letting her in all the way, would mean subjecting her to his life as he knew it and I don't think that is something that he really wants to subject her to. So, he is protecting her from all that vileness. But when you really look at it, opening up more and letting her in could actually end up helping him in the long run. So many times the more we bottle things up, the more the situation grows and we exacerbate a lot of things, but if he were to talk them out, it would be very healing for him and Lisa seems to have a very level-headed outlook on things, one of which, I think, would be beneficial for Dean.

And then what you said about hoping they won't break Dean's tender soul yet again, yes it provides great drama, but how much can a man take. I am with you, I sincerely hope they don't break him, yet again. I don't know how much more he can take (I don't know how much more I can take, as you know, my heart truly bleeds for Dean).

Thanks again for your insight.
Jasminka
# Jasminka 2010-10-12 14:13
Assuming Dean might return to a hunter's life, Evelyn, probably came from a deep hope that something like that might actually be possible. wishful thinking. As Bobby emphasized that the life Dean was having came as close to happiness as any hunter ever got. That's what they hoped for the elder Winchester. Not thinking that it would never be actually possible for Dean with the knowledge of Sam being Lucifer's chew toy and guilt nagging at his soul (since he couldn't find a way to save him yet again).

It's what the great tragedies of all time are made of - struggle, search for happiness, failing, broken hearts, death, love, all the big themes of life. Sometimes I hate this show for what it does to it's wonderful characters that, were they real, would be people I would entrust with my life in a second and whom I'd be honoured to call friends.

thank you so much for your words, Evelyn. It seems to me that Dean is a 'hopeless' case - he will always, at all costs be a protector. that's his identity, what he learned a bout himself. For that reason alone, he probably will never be able to let someone completely in. It's so sad, really.

Thanks again, Jas