(Part One of The Season Five Awards can be found here.)
Most Touching Brotherly Moment
So many! The parting scene at the end of "Good God Y'all" gets a big honorable mention, mostly because its so devastatingly sad, so understated and sold with mostly somber looks. The kicker though is Dean offers Sam the Impala! Sure there is no way Sam would have taken him up on it, but the gesture was huge.
The winner though actually goes to the scene involving Dean and Young Sam (an awesome Colin Ford) in “Dark Side of The Moon.†Dean's heavenly memory of their renegade setting off of fireworks on 4th of July 1996, sentimentally cut to Bob Dylan’s (yes the original recording) “Knocking On Heaven’s Door†woven in between the elated faces illuminated by the colorful lights is the stuff epics are made of. Its sheer perfection and if that's Heaven, sign me up.
The Dean Winchester Most Outrageous Act of The Year
I have no clue why I've never awarded this before. Dean's always shocking us and Sam with either an off the wall comment or inappropriate act. This season though we have a grand champion that trumps all seasons hands down. I only need one word to describe it too. "Pudding!"
Best Appearance of Sam Winchester's Hair
Again, Sam, Interrupted comes up a winner. When Sammy is a raging lunatic so is his hair, flying wildly all nice and fluffed. Crazy never looked hotter. That nuthouse patient blue outfit certainly didn't hurt either, which is likely why his rages in this ep won out.
Honorable mention goes to the way his hair flew and landed all disheveled on the pillow when those shotgun shells hit him in "Dark Side of The Moon." That could be my twisted side talking though.
Worst Appearance of Sam Winchester's Hair
"My Bloody Valentine", but just like last year's "When The Levee Breaks" I think it's supposed to be. He's mentally, emotionally and in a non-human way physically a complete wreck, so the hair must match. It does perfectly, especially during all those twisted expressions when he's killing with his mind.
Best Torture of a Winchester
When I asked Sera Gamble at Comic Con last year what more she could possibly do to Sam, especially after what she put him through in "When The Levee Breaks," she answered with delight there was no end to the psychological torture these brothers could go through (and Cas too). After all intense psychological torture wins every time over bloody and painful physical suffering. I think Sera was holding back, for there was plenty of the physical torture. Just look at all the crap each went through.
Sam:
- Had his legs broken and lungs removed by a vindictive angel.
- Was captured, tied up, beaten, doused in holy water and was forced to ingest a fair amount of rock salt.
- Beaten and force fed demon blood.
- Strangled by Mahatma Gandhi.
- Got the clap from a vindictive witch.
- Got a vicious whack square in the nuts when losing a Japanese game show and was turned into the Impala computer.
- Finds out he's the object of one very demented fan girl's affection. I'm sure that made him ill.
- Restrained and manhandled after going a wee bit insane.
- Is body swapped and subdued by a tranquilizer gun, TWICE.
- Is murdered by a vindictive angel.
- Goes completely off the deep end in a demon killing spree after caving into the Famine induced overwhelming craving for demon blood.
- Is tackled and disgustingly drooled on by a crazed zombie.
- Is murdered by vindictive hunters.
- Crippled by a set on nasty diseases from Pestilence, including Syphilis. Man, he just can't run from the VD.
- Oh, and he becomes the prom suit for Satan himself.
Dean didn't fare too well either:
- Beaten up by a vindictive old demon foe.
- Suffers from angel induced stage four stomach cancer.
- Is pummeled unconscious by his future self. The future self that gets his neck broken by Samifer acting like he was stepping on a cockroach.
- Gets wailed on by Paris Hilton and has to deal with Sam rubbing it in.
- Gets violently tossed like a rag doll by a vindictive demon.
- Has to wear sunglasses at night in a procedural cop show and deliver the Steve Urkel inspired tagline in a bad sitcom. Sure that seems like psychological torture but I'm sure it made him sick to his stomach.
- Is devastated emotionally when he has to say goodbye to Jo and Ellen and let them meet their untimely deaths.
- Ends up liking body swapped Sam better. (Okay, that's not torture, but what does that say about his relationship with Sam?)
- Is taunted by the archangel Michael in one impressive confrontation after getting the crap beat out of him by a vindictive angel.
- Is knocked out and captured by Famine only to witness his brother go on an apeshit crazy demon killing spree, thus fracturing his psyche greatly.
- Is murdered by vindictive hunters after watching Sam get slaughtered first.
- Is captured by his brother and one pissed off angel, earning his own cooling off period in the panic room.
- Kidnapped by Gods and...it just gets weird from there.
- Also stricken by horrible disease by Pestilence, but he's looking far worse than his brother.
- Face and body smashed to an unrecognizable pulp by Lucifer in a Sam suit, then he watches both his brothers fall into the vortex to Hell, essentially left to be the last man standing.
Having said that, none of that wins. The past physical stuff that has won this category before is for pansies compared to these two scenes of extreme psychological torture that capture the prize. It's a tie.
First is Dean's most unnerving ordeal in Chicago, when he's invited for pizza with Death himself in "Two Minutes To Midnight." The intent was to kill, but Dean quickly learns you can't kill Death. Or cheat him either. Or even have a conversation without wetting yourself. Even being forced to have a bite of pizza is enough to make him want to either pass out, toss his cookies, or both. The entire scene is brilliance, with the tension so extreme no one would have guessed that in the end Death was a card carrying member of Team Freewill. He offers a terrified Dean the ring without a fight, but the bargain involves the death of Sam. That makes sense, since death is his thing.
Second, by sake of airdate and not quality, is Sam's mirror showdown with Lucifer in "Swan Song." The great dark one finally has his vessel, but the occupant inside is being feisty. There's only one way to tame that inner beast, through one glorious mind fuck exchanged through a cracked mirror. Sam wasn't the only one rattled to the core.
Plot Device Introduced That Should Be in All Episodes
Shirtless Castiel. That is all.
Most Tragic Act Of Revenge
Killing Brady in "The Devil You Know." Sam had good reason to be pissed and Brady's taunting did little to help his situation, but cornering a defenseless demon in an alley and playing mind games before gutting him like a fish is even pretty low for the Winchesters. Good thing the bastard deserved it.
Most Gruesome (And Most Welcome) Villain Death
I know it's really the wish of everyone to do this, but seeing Paris Hilton's head chopped off is a dream come true. Lucky Sam.
Best Ending To An Episode
"The Song Remains The Same." What can you say, I'm a mom. All that needed to happen to win this category was to show a blissfully happy mother-to-be assuring her soon to be born first child "Angels are watching over you." That'll punch a mom in the gut everytime. Us fangirl moms didn't stand a chance.
Worst Ending To An Episode
Most of the endings were pretty damned depressing. One heart crushing situation after another. Dean disillusioned talk with Sam, Sam and Dean parting, Sam's ill fated visit with Lucifer, Sam and Dean reconciling with uncertainty, Bobby getting emotional from Dean's speech, Sam, Dean and Castiel facing a looming predicament, Ellen and Jo's somber picture burning funeral, Sam opening up to Dean and being shut down, Sam and his completely out of character moment with a teenager that should have been maimed, Sam going through excruciating demon blood detox while Dean listens and cries, Bobby burning the remains of the dead wife again, Dean losing faith and throwing out amulet, Dean abandoning Sam and Castiel to say goodbye to Lisa, A horseman wreaking havoc in the absolutely most disgusting way possible, Bobby selling his soul, and Dean being forced to let Sam go.
The winner - all of those.
Best Use of Classic Rock
I know many of you are thinking "Rock of Ages" in the finale, but for me, nothing tops the examination of the carnage in Colorado to Norman Greenbaum's bouncy and apocalypse appropriate "Spirit in The Sky" in "Good God Y'all." That crossed number one off my “most wanted Classic Rock†list, plus this whole scene involved one of the sweetest Mustangs I've ever seen, and I'm a Mustang aficionado. Let's sing along!
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky
That's where I'm gonna go when I die
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
Prepare yourself you know it's a must
Gotta have a friend in Jesus
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
to the Spirit in The Sky...
A very close second is the opening montage showing Sam and Dean's separate lives to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "A Simple Man" in "Free To Be You And Me." The way this scene is cut is so brilliant, showing Sam and Dean doing similar gestures in very different situations and places. It gets the heart strings going early.
Best Appearance By A Zombie Alligator
Well, we came close. There was a zombie episode! Given the setting in South Dakota though, not a gator in sight. I think I might have spotted a tiny lizard though, but maybe not. Come on Edlund, you know you want to do it! Maybe next year Suze. The attached picture is what I visualize happening if Sam got to blow away said zombie alligator.
Funniest Moment
This is usually hard, but it's incredibly easy this year. This might even top alien slow dance and talking teddy bear as best ever. The intro was so subtle, many didn't even realize it was part of the show. We've seen ads like this thousands of times, the yoga instructor by the lake announcing through her Zen moves that she has medical condition. This time its genital herpes. Then an old man says the same thing. Okay.
No, we don't get the joke until Sam Winchester is seen in the next shot, shooting baskets, turning to the camera, and going "Seriously?" Then Dean with much delight reminds him he has to play his role. For a guy who claims he can't do comedy, just one uncomfortable declaration that he too has genital herpes is enough to put millions of fans in tears rolling on the floor. As Sam struggles through the ad, the howling of laughter can be heard all the way to Australia. "And that's a good thing."
Honorable mention strangely again goes to the freakishly tall brooding one. So what happens when you go all apeshit with that pent up rage in a mental institution? A whole bunch of happy drugs, that's what. I can't think of anyone more in need of happy drugs than Sam. He tries to show support for Dean and his blunder, but can't avoid the impulse to play "got your nose." "Boop." Now Dean gets to do the bitchface!
Coming soon...the rest in Part Three.
