Final round of our annual awards! This is our third installment for season seven, aka the Special Mention Awards. So what are those? Categories that cover all the other moments that I didn't get to in the first two set of awards. That means usually offbeat categories that I made up for fun. I've come up with 16 this time, and I honestly could have done more. But I do realize, we all have lives.
The Supernatural Season Seven Special Mention Awards are as follows...
Most Humiliating MomentSam always finds himself in these messes, doesn't he? This time, he falls for some false information given to him by the true bad guy in "The Mentalists" and barges into the address given to him with guns blazing. Oh Sam, haven't you learned by now this goes bad more times than good? It certainly wasn't good that this giant man waving his gun and crashing through the door scared the bejesus out of a bunch of pregnant women and their partners going through a new age lamaze class. Yeah, he apologizes and quickly leaves fully embarrassed, but judging by the off centered "om" chanted by the group leader, he doesn't leave them feeling very calm. Way to go Sammy. Gonna kick puppies next? (Just kidding!)
Most Miraculous Act of Winchester Healing Not Involving an Angel
We only had to wait until episode three, "The Girl Next Door", before an amazing fact was revealed about Sam and Dean. They can miraculously heal themselves! They don't need angels anymore.
After all, how else can it be explained that Dean's compound fracture heals perfectly in three weeks? He just cuts the cast right off and walks away unscathed. He isn't even limping! It's another Winchester miracle!
On the flip side, Sam has proved once an for all he has a melon of steel. All those multiple head injuries through the years have done nothing to faze this big boy. This time, he gets his head bashed in with a tire iron, it triggers seizures and he ends up unconcious for a while in the hospital, but within no time he's back to getting hit in the head again (way to control the temper there Dean) and not ending up having pea soup fed to him cause he's a vegetable. A cold can of soda will fix him right up. It's another Winchester miracle!
Oh, but wait, Sam's healing goes beyond on physical ailments. He manages to fight back deep psychosis with hand grabbing and jogging. Wow, if all the psychotics out there knew that was the secret, the world would be a better and healthier place.
For all you skeptics, I'll buy there has to be some sort of "residual healing" power that came from being healed by an angels all those times. Granted I'm just grasping at straws, but it's the best damn explanation I can come up with and I'm sticking to it.
Plot Device That Actually Was In Several Episodes But Shouldn’t Have BeenLet me tell you a little bit about the late comedian Bill Hicks. The guy had a relativity short, extremely controversial, and very brilliant career. His brand of truth comedy never hit big in this country, but he was practically a God in England and Australia. This guy had a huge arsenal of jokes poking fun at politics, religion, modern society and crappy pop culture. You want to know his favorite punchline? Dick jokes.
I never tired of Bill Hicks bringing up a dick joke, even though he never really told any. He just kept promising they were coming as a way to dig himself out of a lull in the comedy routine. So what happens when “Supernatural” sets up the dick joke possibilities but instead of taking the high road decides to fire off childish jokes practically every week? You know, things like "Dick is coming" and "The rise of Dick?" Bill Hicks rolling over in his grave, that’s what. It got very stale very fast and lacked imagination.
Once this become a regular thing every time Dick Roman was on our screen, all I kept thinking was, "When did the target audience become ten year old boys?"
Best Use of a Totally Awesome Sci-Fi Icon
Felicia Day, because I want all that geeky awesomness. I wish my IT group at work was as dorky and cool as the folks there at Roman Enterprises. I want to fight monsters using nothing but redheaded moxie and technical prowess. You are our queen.
Worst Use of a Totally Awesome Sci-Fi icon
Oh Jewel Staite. I just finally watched you on "Firefly" on Netflix. You're awesome. Your role of Amy Pond wasn't. I deeply apologize on behalf of the writing team's failure. I mean, you didn't even get to make out with Jared. What a major fail all the way around.
Honorable MentionJames Marsters and Charisma Carpenter. You two as well deserved a much better script as well. I commend you both with doing great things with the crap you were given. That's why you're both awesome.
Best Shout Out To Awesome Fried Food
I never tried deep fried pickle chips before until Dean offered them to Death. My Chuck, they're delicious! No wonder Death sat down and gobbled them up before leaving. Of course, it's not like he's sweating the calories and cholesterol. Life just isn't fair. My only disappointment is that he was too pissed at Dean to share any with him.
Best “One Tortured Look Tells the Entire Heart Crushing Story” Moment
To be honest, this season was missing plenty of the deeply emotional moments that were common in other seasons. Or at least scenes involving Sam and Dean. That's why the winner this year is Bobby in “Death’s Door.”
There were a lot of great, great, emotional scenes in this one, but the one that impacted me the most was the one that first made me cry. Bobby had to experience again the time he told his beautiful wife Karen in their bedroom that he didn't want to have children. They didn't show him saying it, only her absolutely crushed reaction. Not only did Karen make us cry with her sobbing and cut foot, but watching Bobby's devastated gaze while he went through all of that again should have come with a flashing tissue warning. It was even more painful for him this time, since he knew that only three days later he lost her to demonic possession.
"Biggest regret of my life, this fight. You'd think it was when I had to stab her to death, but... no. All through that... I was thinking we never got to get past this. If I'd have known, I'd have said anything she wanted to hear."
Honorable mentionSam in “Slash Fiction." It killed me when was trying to process the fact that Dean killed Amy after finding out through evil Leviathan Dean. He had to do this while the real Dean was rescuing him. He didn't say a word, but his face was total 100% heartbreak and he couldn't move from his spot.
Best Fortune Cookie WisdomNormally I’ve given this award to Sam and Dean, but Castiel in full blown nut mode wins. He had a whole mixed bag of conundrums and other wacky messages that made you wonder if he was positively brilliant or completely crackers. Either way, they were fun.
Think about it, ever wonder what happens when an angel loses his marbles? Oh my, it’s not what we would expect.
"Outside today, in the garden, I followed a honeybee. I saw the route of flowers. It's all right there, the whole plan. There's nothing to add."
"You know, we weren't sure at first which monkeys were gonna make it. No offense, but I was backing the Neanderthals because their poetry was... just amazing. It's in perfect tune with the spheres. But in the end, it was you – the homo sapiens sapiens. You guys ate the apple, invented pants."
"You know, those racing dogs were absolutely miserable. They can only think in ovals."
"Well, Dean, I've been thinking. Monkeys are so... clever, and they're sensible in that they leave the skins on the bananas that they eat. Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them? I mean, how important is lipstick to you, Dean?"
"Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I-I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and miracles, really."
"Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?"
Best Encounter in a Back Alley
No, Sammy tripping out with the dregs of humanity in "The Born-Again Identity" is not on the list. That’s “most pathetic.”
The winner comes an episode later, in “Party On, Garth.” What happens when you don’t know Japanese and need something translated? Well, having shady back alley encounters with a steakhouse chef in the back of a Japanese restaurant works.
I don’t know what I enjoyed more, the setup, or the fact that this chef was completely cool with all the things he was being asked. By two hungover white guys drinking coffee at night. Translating the Shojo legend was one thing, but going with the flow like everything’s normal when Dean shows up later for a sword blessing, complete with spring water in a bottle to simulate a running stream? I’m thinking this guy is the most awesome confidant Sam and Dean have found yet.
Best Delivery of One LinersFrank Deveraux had more one liners and snappy comebacks than, well, all those one liners and snappy comebacks that used to belong to Dean Winchester. Score a huge one for Kevin McNally's sharp delivery on all of them. He certainly gave Dean a workout. Here are some of my favs:
"Well, my condolences on the doppelgangers. Now, who sent you? NSA? The Feeb? March of Dimes?"
"You're number two on the Most Wanted list. Quickest climb up the charts since Donna Summer."
"Little tip from a pro -- there is no such thing as a random series of robbery murders by your evil twins. Well, have yourself some uppers and look at that some more."
"Now, I'd lay low, 'cause I love life and its infinite mysteries."
"Sure you're not a Leviathan. Dick Roman's not a Leviathan. Gwyneth Paltrow's not a Leviathan..."
Frank: By the way, they opened another Biggersons in Butte.
Dean: Yeah, well, we're not in Montana.
Frank(later): When did you become the boss of me? You don't like what I'm doing, you can stick it right up your Montana.
Dean: Frank, hey, I don't mean to double-dip in your crazy sauce. No offense.
Frank: None taken, fudge pop.
Dean: But I think I found something.
Frank: My silence is your cue, Dean.
Best Complete Freak Out By A Would Be VictimI swear, I waited seven seasons for an honest, true blue reaction like this. The wait was so worth it.
We rarely if ever get to see the reaction of the victim and whatever frightening supernatural act had fallen on them. That's why I loved the scene in "Shut Up, Dr. Phil" where Don Stark's assistant, Jenny, was narrowly saved by Sam and Dean from a gruesome bloody death. An incident triggered by her eating cupcakes she just baked. Or should I say, the little beating hearts in the center of her cupcakes that she just baked. Cut to the next scene, showing a stunned Jenny frozen on her couch, fighting to comprehend what just happened.
Jenny: There were tiny beating hearts in my cupcakes. There were hearts in my cupcakes, hearts in my cupcakes! That's never happened before! Hearts in my cupcakes!
Dean: Should I slug her?
Sam: Give it a second.
Best Homage to a Psychotic Mathematical Genius
This isn't the first reference to "A Beautiful Mind." There was one in last season's finale "The Man Who Knew Too Much." When Robin sees Sam's wall of research in the motel room, she says, "Well, I love what you've done to the place. It's very Beautiful Mind meets Seven."
Sure, that was really a vision in Sam's mind, but how interesting that Dean pulls up that very same reference about Sam two episodes later. He and Sam arrive at Bobby's in "Hello, Cruel World" to find the house a burned out shell and Bobby nowhere to be found. Dean while alone calls Bobby.
"You cannot be in that crater back there. I can't...If you're gone, I swear I'm gonna strap by Beautiful Mind brother into the car and I'm gonna drive us off the pier."
Granted, there aren't many film references out there about brilliant men who see things, but Sam should still take these references as extreme flattery.
Best Political Act By A Delusional God In An Election YearI'm blaming this award on the fact that this is an election year (even though there wasn't an issue in 2008), but there's no doubt that some poltical statements were often woven into the plots this season. The main arc ended up being about monsters taking over a major corporation and political figure, and manipulating the public via good old fashioned American values of greed and gluttony. As someone told me on twitter, it was the attack of the "corporate wank monsters."
However, I'm not giving Dick Roman or the leviathan any kind of award for their agenda. It all just wreaked too much of someone trying to tell me how much my lifestyle sucks and how much of a stupid drone I am for being this way. It's not something I like to see in my supernatural escapism show. Instead, I'm going with something better from the season opener.
Come on, admit it. When Castiel put himself on a stained glass window, that was pretty cool. Sure, it was a scene setup by the writers to purely convey a back handed slap to religious fundamentalism against homosexuals, but what a way to burn outright fear into intolerance. He even put in a deity halo! Talk about an overbearing sense of self importance. You knew a bad fall was coming, but that didn't take away from all the fun while it was happening. This is better way to communicate a liberal agenda in an election year.
Worst Season Long Plot Device, aka “WTF Where They Thinking????”
The Impala goes on hiatus for most of the season. I only have one question.
WHY?????????? FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK, WHY??????????????
Oh, I guess that was two questions.
Dean was oh so right, nobody should put baby in a corner. This exercise must have looked good on paper, but by the end of the season, fatigue over all these different cars they were driving each week easily wore us thin. Actually, I realized the fatigue when we saw the Impala in the "Repo Man" flashback. Her absence was just wrong on so many levels.
I get the idea was to strip Sam and Dean down to their bare essentials where all they had was each other. Still, taking the car? Maybe because some of those car choices were just pitiful. Just look at these cars:
- A Pontiac Acadian, which is the Canadian equivalent of one of the worst cars ever made, the Chevrolet Chevette.
- A 1972 Dodge Challenger. Awesome car actually, but Dean stole a beater. Too bad.
- 1969 Buick Special Deluxe in a very off maroon color.
- A 1944 Plymouth Roadking. Fine, that one was allowed considering Impalas weren’t invented yet. They also drove in "Time After Time" a newer sedan type vehicle which couldn't be identified.
- 1971 Buick Riveria with the trademark “Boattail” rear. No, that doesn't stand out at all.
- 1973 Mercury Cougar in one very off gold color. This car was very similar that year to the Ford Mustang.
- 1978 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, aka the car they used in “Smokey and the Bandit.” It was a really cool car in its day. This one, not so much.
- 1970 Dodge Charger. This one was known for its very ugly front end.
- 1978 AMC Pacer. Oh my, I thought the Acadian was shameless. This is the lowest of low. I get it was a shout out to "Wayne's World" but poor Sam and Dean.
- A mid-1970's AMC Matador
- 1969 Plymouth GTX in AWFUL salmon color.
There were also a few non-descript Jeeps, light pickup trucks, and large sedans used along the way, and Garth in “Party On, Garth” drove a 1977 Ford Ranchero with the luxury wood grain option. Got all that?
I love playing “Guess that classic car,” but this season was exhausting. Let's never do it again.
Best Series Long Legend Still Intact
Supernatural Wiki has a perfect term for this. It’s called the “Peen of Death.” Go to this page for the full explanation (it’s quite brilliant) http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Peen_Of_Death. Basically it means anyone who sleeps with Sam Winchester dies.
Even Dean made light of this fact in “Season 7: Time For A Wedding.” “Have you forgotten the life span of your average hookup?”
It was revealed in “Of Grave Importance” that Sam while soulless slept with Annie. So guess who dies before the credits roll? Another notch against Sammy and his fatal member. I know that there are people who have supposedly survived, but so far all we know of is Hippie Chick from “Clap Your Hands If You Believe” and Dr. Cara in “Sex and Violence.” I’m willing to bet the farm though that if Sam went back to these women for another fling, he would find out the awful truth. The “Peen of Death” had struck again!
Sam, why oh why didn't you sleep with Becky? It would have been the perfect revenge.
Most Overused Plot Device
Season Seven most of the time felt like “CSI: Supernatural” to me. This is no secret, since I did a whole article regarding this. It wasn’t just the suits and the fake FBI act. It was the constant repetitive MO, talking to the witnesses, visiting the coroner, investigating the crime scene, etc. It just so happened, every single one of these instances happened with the boys putting on the suits and flashing the FBI badge. Since when did the concept of “standalone” migrate to cop procedural?
Out of 23 episodes, this setup was used 13 times. However, the last five episodes of the season didn’t go with the FBI thing at all, so it was 13 times out of the first 18 episodes. Also, I didn’t count “Season 7: Time for A Wedding” which actually did follow the same investigation pattern, but they were reporters, not FBI agents.
I recommend starting season 8 with the FBI finally getting wise to hunters pretending to be their agents and start cracking down. That way, Sam and Dean could use other disguises like they did in the first three seasons. They can keep the suits, just as long as Sam loses the ugly grey one. It’s not his style.
That's a wrap on this year's awards! I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I did putting them together. I can't wait to see the winners for season eight. Please share any awards that you would like to give in the comments.
Here are the other two parts of the Season Seven Awards:
The Winchester Family Business Supernatural Season 7 Fan Awards
The Winchester Family Business Supernatural Season 7 Awards - Editor's Choice
Here are the links for the prior season awards:
Season One Awards
Season Two Awards
Season Three Awards
Season Four Awards
Season Five Awards - Part One
Season Five Awards - Part Two
Season Five Awards - Part Three
Season Six Awards Part One
Season Six Awards, Part Two
Season Six Awards, Part Three